Elma-related jokes

General discussion about the games and the scene.

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sierra
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Elma-related jokes

Post by sierra »

Here's a section where you can make up jokes to put down your contemporaries.

Q: Why doesn't zworqy battle?
A: Because he's a fucking noob!!!

Q: Why didn't Raven get Steep Corner WR?
A: Because axxu beat his time!!!

Q: Why didn't axxu win World Cup 5?
A: Because MP owned him!!!

and so on.
[OMG] | [SpEF] | Apparently my TT was once 39:26:06
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Post by teajay »

Q: Why did sierra take tj's Noob WR by 6 hundreds instead of 6 seconds?
A: Because he's a fucking cunt!!!
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Post by Lukazz »

Q: Why is this not even in the same zip code as funny?
A: dunno
TT: 36:59:53 || Avg TT: 38:09:65
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Post by berhabdul »

Q: Does Abula play Elma?
A: Yes, he made some brutal bounces yesterday.
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Post by kinghias »

q: does niN mean nine inch nails?
a: dunno.
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Post by petsen »

Q: Whats the main reason for suspecting that "Elmer" is gay?
A: Rides a sloppy bike with the flexibility of elton johns wrist and hangs around all day with apples and flowers..



geez hard to think of something funny here....
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Dynamo
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Post by Dynamo »

Q: Why did I throw up on the comp?
A: Cuz I saw Zworqy's avatar!
Total Time: 38:35,14
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Post by Jeppe »

rofl nice one dynamo ;D

Q how many battle wins do jaytea have?
A 883
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Post by niN »

kinghias wrote:q: does niN mean nine inch nails?
a: dunno.
no.
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Post by CaeZar »

Dynamo your joke is ez teh best elma-joke ever :D
cAEz Image | Total Time: 40:42:62
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Post by Henkjan »

Dynamo wrote:Q: Why did I throw up on the comp?
A: Cuz I saw Zworqy's avatar!
what does his avatar look like?
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Post by teajay »

Like zworqy. :)
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Post by Henkjan »

yeah i've seen it now :P
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Post by Raven »

Q: Did axxu fuck his dad
A: No.
Seize the day
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Post by Luther »

Q: Is raven mongo?
A: No, Jappe2 is
Nekit for president
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Post by Lukazz »

Jappe wrote:Q: did axxu fuck her mom
A:yes
Q: is jappe even more english n00b than me
A: yes
TT: 36:59:53 || Avg TT: 38:09:65
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sierra
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Post by sierra »

No no no, these jokes are nowhere near degrading enough. Look:

Q: Why did Luther not win WC5?
A: Cuz he's a fucking quitter!

Q: Why hasn't Daemon had a WR?
A: Cuz he's an overrated noob!

Q: Why didn't jaytea get WR in Precarious, when he was leading TorInge?
A: Because he hit his head like a noob!
[OMG] | [SpEF] | Apparently my TT was once 39:26:06
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Post by jaytea »

Q. why will sierra never make it to 39 mins club?
A. because he sucks at elma

Q. why does axxu play every single external contest?
A. because he's an internet attention whore

Q. why doesnt John play every single external contest?
A. because he isn't an internet attention whore

Q. why does zworqy suck at elma?
A. because he's been playing for years and has had much time to practice and improve

Q. why does dynamo attach an essay to every internal or external time he produces?
A. because he thinks we're interested in what he has to offer when the obvious truth is we dont give a fuck

Q. why does prodigy announce his new times with a grimmacing smiley making it appear as if he's capable of much better?
A. because he's a cocky noob who's probably cheating

Q. why does kinghias pretend to drive good times with minimal hoylage?
A. because he wants us all to think he has good natural ability for the game, and the potential to be great if only he could squeeze in more than '10 minutes a day'

Q. why does everyone in #ranks imitate Jeppe's vernacular?
A. because they see it being delivered by Jeppe so well that they themselves believe they can also pull it off when in fact they just sound unoriginal and lame

Q. why does epp_Q never say much in #across?
A. because he's afraid that if he starts typing, carnivorous swans will enter his place of residence and kidnap him for their tri-annual bloodbath

Q. who is Henza?
A. most people dont know, since he's a very insignificant part of the scene and life in general
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Post by enil »

Q. why cant jaytea newer shatefack?
A. he cannot stuff anymore newspapers under he´s arms
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Post by The_BoneLESS »

Q. Why does Jaytea as a strong tendency to insult people ?
A. Because he doesn't actually exist.
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sierra
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Post by sierra »

jaytea's jokes were incredible, hands down best ones i've heard in any context in ages
[OMG] | [SpEF] | Apparently my TT was once 39:26:06
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Post by jaytea »

guys there's a 'Preview' button you can use to check your spelling
Last edited by jaytea on 12 Jan 2006, 17:54, edited 1 time in total.
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Post by berhabdul »

yes hes very intelligent but a bit unkind for the scene :o i'll serve out some jokes tomorrow
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Post by sierra »

jaytea wrote:guys there's a 'Preview' button you can use to check your spelling
Perhaps look up 'grimacing' then
[OMG] | [SpEF] | Apparently my TT was once 39:26:06
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Post by jaytea »

sierra wrote:
jaytea wrote:guys there's a 'Preview' button you can use to check your spelling
Perhaps look up 'grimacing' then
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Post by epp »

heah i say something SOMETIMES ;( liek at night when nobodys there except skint and aavv
Q. who is Henza?
A. most people dont know, since he's a very insignificant part of the scene and life in general
he is teh #coffee person :)
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Post by sierra »

WHY

do people just not get these jokes? they are top quality
[OMG] | [SpEF] | Apparently my TT was once 39:26:06
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Post by dz »

HAHA, this topic offers some best laughs I've ever had. Just a bit different way.

btw. jaytea \o/
Last edited by dz on 25 Feb 2006, 12:48, edited 1 time in total.
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Post by Dynamo »

K I'm not even gonna say nething.....:P
Last edited by Dynamo on 12 Jan 2006, 22:50, edited 1 time in total.
Total Time: 38:35,14
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Post by teajay »

Aahaha, great ones. I loved all these posts that came after too. :lol:

Q: Why did Pajen quit playing elma?
A: Because he wanted to enjoy life.

Q: Why did sierra start playing elma?
A: Because he wanted to enjoy life.
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Post by cyre »

Warning! Some ppl might get offended by the tales of fact and fiction below. If you are one of these ppl, you either have no sense of humour or it differs from mine, which, of course, are the one and the same thing.


Q: Why did zweq quit elma for wow?
A: He didn't. He just accidentally deleted his cheat software while cleaning up his porn folder.

Q: Why doesn't MP have any wrs despite his obvious ability to get some?
A: Because he's afraid that having a world record in a computer game would label him as a nerd, which everyone else in the community knows he already is.

Q: Why does sierra always use complicated sentence structures?
A: Because he thinks it makes him seem intelligent in the eyes of others. Sadly, it rarely does.

Q: Why is SveinR so lovable?
A: Although the phrase "Even those, without whom SveinR's enemies would be considered as scarce, were considered as scarce." is not the answer to the question, it is the result of its premise. Maybe he's just so cute and cuddly.

Q: Why are jaytea and sierra so close with each other?
A: Because despite their constant attempts to tell themselves that their relationship is just "normal male bonding", deep down they both know it has always been much more.

Q: Why is ribot so messed up?
A: Your reality is the technodynamic reflection of the monochromatic plane on which your dampened cerebral cortex resides. You are irrevocably denied the profound preception of space time and your definitions are initially fraud and you don't know why it is so dimensional to calculate odds for probabilities to announce existence to ascendetianity for universal harmony lubricated by randonimities of fish with psychic cognitive abilities to run over abulised transcendance beatron of lucid dreams by transdimensional vortexes.

Q: Why have so many ppl joined in ribot's anti-abula movement?
A: Because being part of it gives them the comforting feeling of togetherness they haven't felt since early childhood when their mothers took them to the "school for special children".

Q: What's the difference between 8ball the kuski and the little toy '8ball' that answers your questions with random messages that rarely make any sense?
A: Diameter.
"Fool me seven times, shame on you. Fool me eight or more times, shame on me."
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Post by niN »

Great ones! If you move a couple of names ;)
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Post by petsen »

heh pretty good ones there :)


and i thought it would be impossible to make up good elma jokes :)
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Post by zworqy »

cyre's jokes were the first funny ones :roll:
<Fihlvein> another case of zworqy-is-always-right closed i guess
<yoosef> zworqy doesnt suck at anything
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Post by Dynamo »

Nah I think jaytea's were the first funny one's....I even laughed at the one about me :P
Total Time: 38:35,14
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Post by OtorK »

no, dynamo's joke was max 8)
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Post by teajay »

The last three ones of cyre were admirable yes. :wink:
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Post by CaeZar »

Ye your was the first funny Dynamo.. The avatar one :P

I got an image in my head of someone getting scared and throwing the screen in the air :lol:
cAEz Image | Total Time: 40:42:62
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Post by niN »

Q. "you know why Sierra and Jaytea love each other so much?"
A. "As the saing goes; Monkeys Loves each other"
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Post by Khempejjer »

Q: How is it called when Abula deletes his previous state, and starts a new one?
A: Abula rasa :roll:
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Post by petsen »

jaytea wrote:Q. why does prodigy announce his new times with a grimmacing smiley making it appear as if he's capable of much better?
A. because he's a cocky noob who's probably cheating
this is in short called D-A-D (yes like the danish band) but short for

the Dyrox Attention Disorder
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Post by Coc0k »

Q. Why don't kuskis having wr want to share their recs?
A. Because Milagros watches them too
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Post by MagnusB »

Q: Why is every so-called joke in this thread actually a riddle?
A: We are Devo.
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Post by jaytea »

MagnusB wrote:Q: Why is every so-called joke in this thread actually a riddle?
A: We are Devo.
this is going to drive me crazy :/
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Post by dz »

Q: why doesn't balazs update world records?
A: because px updates them

Q: why did zweq quit playing
A: because he didn't want to play anymore

Q: why is there only one apple in warm up?
A: because it's so short level

Q: why you cant finish level 55?
A: because you cannot reach the flower (exit)

..
..
..
..
..
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Post by J-sim »

MagnusB wrote:Q: Why is every so-called joke in this thread actually a riddle?
A: We are Devo.
D - E - V - O!
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Post by simon_labroue »

dz, so pathetic... :?

(what, Zweq has quited?! o.k.)
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Post by Lee »

Knock, knock!

Who's there?

Elma

Elma who?

You're a what?

:?
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Post by A.K.B. »

Knock Knock

Who's there

As long as it isn't sierra answering the door, I won't have to blow the fucking shit outta you.


__________


Knock Knock

If this is sierra, I'm gonna blow the fucking shit outta you!
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Post by CTK-800 »

knock knock

who's there?

abula

abula who?

abula who locked the door, he thought it was of topic
2 weeks gone ages ago
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