Worst Jokes Ever

FinMan · Post by **FinMan** » 21 Jan 2010, 15:23

Whats the difference between a frog?

Sorry, international error.

Xiphias · Post by **Xiphias** » 21 Jan 2010, 17:13

A man walks into a bar. His name is Nekit and he can't speak English.

Mawane · Post by **Mawane** » 21 Jan 2010, 17:48

A man walks into the same bar. His name is Witalo190 and he can't speak English. They fell in love o,o

Grace · Post by **Grace** » 21 Jan 2010, 17:49

A man walks into a bar.

he walked.

Igge · Post by **Igge** » 21 Jan 2010, 17:49

This thread is the worst joke ever.

ville_j · Post by **ville_j** » 21 Jan 2010, 17:50

I don't get these jokes.

And that wasn't a joke.

So did I get it or not o,o

Pab · Post by **Pab** » 21 Jan 2010, 17:55

why dont take photography with flash?

coz Captain Cold gets jealous

sorry

Memphis · Post by **Memphis** » 21 Jan 2010, 19:49

speaking of bad english jokes. i think it's supposed to go why don't you take a photograph with flash.

Man walks into the doctors turns to the doctor and says:
"I can't stand being 3 feet tall any longer!!!!"
Doctor replies, "Well you'll just have to learn to be a little patient."

Bludek · Post by **Bludek** » 21 Jan 2010, 19:56

That actually is quite funny, Memph, and it made me laugh.

Igge · Post by **Igge** » 21 Jan 2010, 20:19

Is it really ok to make fun of others if you're a Christian? I know it's ok to kill others, but to make fun of them..?

Xiphias · Post by **Xiphias** » 21 Jan 2010, 20:26

A midget walks into a bar.

Memphis · Post by **Memphis** » 21 Jan 2010, 21:21

Igge wrote:Is it really ok to make fun of others if you're a Christian? I know it's ok to kill others, but to make fun of them..?

I was simply helping him with his english by pointing it out and then showing him the correct way to say that sentence. Is it really ok to constantly lie on lauta religous or not? didn't think so but u seem to keep doing it. Have some standards plz.

Xiphias · Post by **Xiphias** » 21 Jan 2010, 21:31

A religious guy walks into a bar. He's an idiot and believes in fairy tales.

Pab · Post by **Pab** » 21 Jan 2010, 21:39

why don't you take a photograph with flash?

coz Captian Cold gets jealous

now funny )))

Igge · Post by **Igge** » 21 Jan 2010, 22:12

Xiphias wrote:A religious guy walks into a bar. He's an idiot and believes in fairy tales.

:DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD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i lefd a littel

Grace · Post by **Grace** » 21 Jan 2010, 22:53

Nekit.

Kortsu · Post by **Kortsu** » 21 Jan 2010, 23:14

...is an alcohol and it's destroying his family.

Xiphias · Post by **Xiphias** » 21 Jan 2010, 23:14

old and you failed it

Kortsu · Post by **Kortsu** » 21 Jan 2010, 23:20

Dunno jokes.

Pab · Post by **Pab** » 21 Jan 2010, 23:49

govnor

Memphis · Post by **Memphis** » 22 Jan 2010, 05:06

here's another good one:

Rumour has it that the evolution theory started not with Charles Darwin but when Igge's two nuts "evolved" into one nut because he doesn't get with any girls, (jappe or xiph doesn't count) so nature doesn't require him to have 2. Instead of just realizing he is a mono nut noob, he trys to make it sound normal by calling it evolution.

I appologize if the joke offended anyone out there, other then Igge, with actually one nut.

Kortsu · Post by **Kortsu** » 22 Jan 2010, 07:52

Why did Einstein have the same questions on a test as the year before?

The answers were different.

Mawane · Post by **Mawane** » 22 Jan 2010, 07:56

igge has cashew nut?

Xiphias · Post by **Xiphias** » 22 Jan 2010, 11:13

Kortsu wrote:Why did Einstein have the same questions on a test as the year before?

The answers were different.

this one was actually epic =D

Igge · Post by **Igge** » 22 Jan 2010, 13:52

Memphis wrote:here's another good one

This topic is not meant for good jokes. This topic is meant for the worst jokes.

Please take your off-topic nonsense elsewhere.

Memphis · Post by **Memphis** » 22 Jan 2010, 17:08

Igge wrote: This topic is not meant for good jokes. This topic is meant for the worst jokes.

Please take your off-topic nonsense elsewhere.

Glad you enjoyed.

Igge · Post by **Igge** » 22 Jan 2010, 20:10

I'm just happy as long as I can be sure you're going to hell.

Memphis · Post by **Memphis** » 22 Jan 2010, 20:18

Igge wrote:I'm just happy as long as I can be sure you're going to hell.

hmmm, this seems off topic unless it was a joke...

Xiphias · Post by **Xiphias** » 23 Jan 2010, 01:54

Why did Memphis and Igge hold hands?
'Cause that's the only thing INFESTING NIGGER OFFTOPIC'ERS DO!

Please guys.. have your shit talk elsewhere. You are just going from topic to topic mongoing on each other. And please don't reply to this post. I won't answer again 'cause only way to stop is to ignore but I can't help myself from saying this. This is getting ridiculous, childish and annoying.

kthxbye

Pab · Post by **Pab** » 23 Jan 2010, 02:53

who is the best here?

fuck u tell me !!!!11!!2ç43 dk
b ye laughtlaguthglaiuto ootwew iggexd

anyone there? nah wtf

Pab · Post by **Pab** » 23 Jan 2010, 02:58

a man gets into a bar, he was negative

he fall mind f*cked and then he backed in no

Grace · Post by **Grace** » 23 Jan 2010, 04:45

What did the man do when he fell off a cliff?

He died.

Raven · Post by **Raven** » 23 Jan 2010, 05:59

Why Tarzan dies?
- Because he stood under the tree omfg

Hosp · Post by **Hosp** » 23 Jan 2010, 22:35

Ville_J wrote:I don't get these jokes.

And that wasn't a joke.

So did I get it or not o,o

You look a lot like GeT_RiGhT from cs, the 2nd best player in the world (in fragbite's opinion)

teajay · Post by **teajay** » 24 Jan 2010, 12:38

Why did Tarzan cross the road road back and forth again?

- he was searching for trees

Pab · Post by **Pab** » 25 Jan 2010, 05:25

why tha nigge killed iggeman

?

coz he is evil

and nigge

Grace · Post by **Grace** » 9 Mar 2010, 22:02

What do you call an irishman with 4 legs, 11 eyes and 17 fingertips?

Drunk. He's irish.

A.K.B. · Post by **A.K.B.** » 10 Mar 2010, 09:02

Man gets hit by lightening.

Shocking.

Orcc · Post by **Orcc** » 20 Dec 2013, 17:25

How do you salute royal Chris?

- Your hiness

Lousku · Post by **Lousku** » 20 Dec 2013, 20:46

THE BLAK MASK WENT TO THE SAUSAGEKIOSK. THE CELLER ASKERED DO WE PUT ALL SPICES AND BLAKCMASK SAYED NO

!!!))))))))))))))))))))))))))

Pingywings · Post by **Pingywings** » 21 Dec 2013, 16:45

one joke i cant stand is something comedians always do:

so i had a dream where i did <mundane everyday thing> and <outrageous thing>.. thats ridiculous.. i'd never do <mundane everyday thing> AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAA WHAT TIMES MY HANDJOB

it wasnt even funny the first time, but so many comedians seem to whip it out like its some fresh new joke

Lousku · Post by **Lousku** » 21 Dec 2013, 17:52

so i had a dream where i was standing in the shower with a tree up my ass. that's ridiculous, i never shower! hahahandjob

culinko · Post by **culinko** » 21 Dec 2013, 18:43

Grandma is walking on the street, when she suddenly falls into the sewer. She utters: "I don't mind, I have another guitar."

Pingywings · Post by **Pingywings** » 21 Dec 2013, 23:33

Lousku wrote:so i had a dream where i was standing in the shower with a tree up my ass. that's ridiculous, i never shower! hahahandjob

congratulations you are now the 5th best comedian of all time

Ruben · Post by **Ruben** » 22 Dec 2013, 12:19

Pingywings wrote:one joke i cant stand is something comedians always do:

so i had a dream where i did <mundane everyday thing> and <outrageous thing>.. thats ridiculous.. i'd never do <mundane everyday thing> AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAA WHAT TIMES MY HANDJOB

it wasnt even funny the first time, but so many comedians seem to whip it out like its some fresh new joke

You do realize that there are literally only two jokes in the world right? There's the one you said (build expectation, then break it). And then there's puns.

Also:
Rice is great if you're really hungry and want to eat two thousand of something.

Lousku · Post by **Lousku** » 22 Dec 2013, 16:04

Dued. This was #across

[18.12.][20:40] <lousk> anyway "Rice is great if you're really hungry and want to eat two thousand of something." -Mitch Hedberg

Mats · Post by **Mats** » 28 Dec 2013, 04:49

Pot ate toe