Storytime

[Ruben]

I want to hear your stories. Short, long, funny, serious, anything, please post it here for us. I'll begin with this one, it's badly written and mostly useless, but I thought it was funny. Yes, it's a pun. I'm sorry.

Kim looked down at her hands. In one she had a jar of thyme, in the other a box of dried peas. Around her the kids were running around attacking each other with plushies, while her husband was mounting a mount for their gigantic new TV. The living room was in such a state, she considered burning the whole place down just to avoid cleaning it. The box of peas she was holding slowly started moving towards the jar of thyme. As if possessed, she tipped it over, and let a handful of peas fall into the jar of thyme. She was extremely pleased with herself. "Chuck?" she called. From behind a tower of boxes a vacant "mh?" could be heard from her husband, as he struggled to tighten a screw. "Look!" she said, holding the jar out in front of her. After some commotion Chuck's face peered out from between the boxes, eyebrows raised. "Look!" she said once more, "there's peas in our thyme." There was a pause. She looked at him expectantly. He looked at her vacantly. "That's very good, honey," he said. He rolled his eyes and went back to mounting the mount. She looked at the jar of thyme in her hand. There were some peas in it.

[FinMan]

There's a story I came up a few years ago. Here it is:

Once upon a time somewhere far far away there was a kid who seemed to be really intelligent, Albert was his name. His mom knew about his intelligence really early on and supported him by talking about all the small little thoughts the kid brought up and Albert always kept surprising his mom by his intelligent thoughts and questions.

Time passed on and Albert went to the kindergarten where he got friends and many others also realized he's something special. The teacher was very playful with Albert's intelligent, almost stingy in a positive way, thoughts that surprised everyone. There was one thing he kept repeating over and over again, which the teacher of course just laughed at; "I can stop time", Albert kept saying, "but if I stop time it will never be able to start going again."

As time went on and Albert seemed to be really stuck with this idea, the teacher also got more and more playful with the idea, suggesting he should prove himself true. Albert of course didn't do it with the same excuse.

One day Albert was really tired and after mentioning it, the teacher really got under his skin without intending to do so. "I can't do it", said Albert, almost shedding tears at this point. The teacher didn't realize this and just laughed at him, jokingly. Albert got angry and said "well, ok then! I will do it but it was you asking for this! I will count to three and then do it!" The teacher smiled as Albert counted to three really, really slowly. As Albert reached three, nothing happened.

[kuchitsu]

I don't have a story, only an idea for it. A narcissist decides to clone himself because he comes to the conclusion that other people simply aren't good enough for him. He wants a perfect partner (a copy of himself), so he gets one, they begin living together and then a bunch of awful stuff happens because they turn out to be totally incompatible. The moral of the story is that we think we understand ourselves but in reality we have no idea what is going on inside our heads or whatever. Probably been done before.

[Bjenn]

I once saw a rock and I said to myself "pebbles". The end.jpg

[gimp]

I have a common story to tell, maybe you've heard it:

Once upon a time a baby was born, he cried as a baby, he laughed as a child, he was awkward as a teen, he became more serious from his college education, he became more cynical from his day to day work week, he became exhausted from divorce, bills, and never accomplishing anything meaningful, he retired with a decent pension and social security, his last decades were spent intermittently in hospitals and short family reunions, he died the same way everyone dies, alone, he was forgotten as quickly as any other man is and ceased to exist in any shape or form

[Ruben]

I don't have a story, only an idea for it. A narcissist decides to clone himself because he comes to the conclusion that other people simply aren't good enough for him. He wants a perfect partner (a copy of himself), so he gets one, they begin living together and then a bunch of awful stuff happens because they turn out to be totally incompatible. The moral of the story is that we think we understand ourselves but in reality we have no idea what is going on inside our heads or whatever. Probably been done before.

This kinda reminds me of The Island in a way, which happens to be the only Michael Bay movie I like =P It's not really like you described, but still. Sounds really icky to have a copy of yourself walking around.