Martial Artists World Cup

Discuss, argue, whine, talk but not about Elma.

Moderator: Moporators

User avatar
zworqy
Kuski
Posts: 3706
Joined: 19 May 2002, 23:17
Location: Lilla Edet, Sweden
Contact:

Martial Artists World Cup

Post by zworqy »

Who kick the most asses? Or kicks asses the hardest?

Some nominees:
Jackie Chan
Bruce Lee
Jean-Claude van Damme
Stephen Chow
Jet Li
Sammo Hung
Shô Kosugi


Nominate more plz
Last edited by zworqy on 18 Oct 2006, 20:39, edited 1 time in total.
<Fihlvein> another case of zworqy-is-always-right closed i guess
<yoosef> zworqy doesnt suck at anything
User avatar
Xiphias
39mins club
Posts: 4098
Joined: 23 Nov 2004, 23:05

Post by Xiphias »

Chuck Norris goddammit
Thorze wrote:I just wanted to make a cool topic like Juish have cool topics..
Zerox
Kuski
Posts: 159
Joined: 25 Jan 2004, 11:32
Location: Denmark

Post by Zerox »

Steven Seagal!
epp
Kuski
Posts: 553
Joined: 19 Aug 2002, 16:54
Location: denmark

Post by epp »

Jæt Li
Image ^_^
User avatar
SveinR
Moporator
Posts: 5469
Joined: 21 May 2002, 08:05
Location: Oslo, Norway
Contact:

Post by SveinR »

I bet the best martial artist is someone who is not also an actor.
Was it cast for the mass who burn and toil?
Or for the vultures who thirst for blood and oil?
Rules | FAQ
User avatar
zworqy
Kuski
Posts: 3706
Joined: 19 May 2002, 23:17
Location: Lilla Edet, Sweden
Contact:

Post by zworqy »

epp wrote:Jæt Li
I already mentioned him

Bolo Yeung
Marc Dacascos
<Fihlvein> another case of zworqy-is-always-right closed i guess
<yoosef> zworqy doesnt suck at anything
User avatar
The_BoneLESS
38mins club
Posts: 4604
Joined: 7 Sep 2003, 00:30
Team: HHIT
Location: Dangerously close to the St-Lawrence River
Contact:

Post by The_BoneLESS »

you forgot this guy

Image
Tony Jaa (who was in the movie OngBak)
Website || TT:38:05:33 || WC5:15th || HHIT for life || 9th world wide ... BAP is next
User avatar
OtorK
37mins club
Posts: 569
Joined: 21 Jan 2005, 22:40
Location: CZE
Contact:

Post by OtorK »

Takeshi Kitano
User avatar
Lee
37mins club
Posts: 2362
Joined: 22 Apr 2005, 05:12
Location: New Zealand

Post by Lee »

zworqy
teajay
Donator duck
Posts: 10043
Joined: 3 Apr 2003, 17:53

Post by teajay »

Goku, Gohan, Trunks, Vegeta!!!
User avatar
Lee
37mins club
Posts: 2362
Joined: 22 Apr 2005, 05:12
Location: New Zealand

Post by Lee »

clarke kent
lex luthor
User avatar
A.K.B.
37mins club
Posts: 4122
Joined: 10 Dec 2005, 11:12
Location: Brisbane
Contact:

Post by A.K.B. »

The_BoneLESS wrote:you forgot this guy

Image
Tony Jaa (who was in the movie OngBak)
Best guy IMO :*

kicks major ass.
Image
1 Golden Apple Award: Rookie of the Year
FinMan wrote:I prefer AKB:s topics to Xratios ones :)
Jazka
38mins club
Posts: 544
Joined: 24 Apr 2005, 10:39
Location: Himanka, Finland

Post by Jazka »

Joe Eigo
TT: 38.59.35 (20.)
Avg TT: 39.56.193 (12.)
User avatar
zworqy
Kuski
Posts: 3706
Joined: 19 May 2002, 23:17
Location: Lilla Edet, Sweden
Contact:

Post by zworqy »

Onley real ppl plz :evil:

Ralph Macchio
Pat Morita
<Fihlvein> another case of zworqy-is-always-right closed i guess
<yoosef> zworqy doesnt suck at anything
User avatar
Kopaka
39mins club
Posts: 6610
Joined: 23 May 2002, 13:59
Team: LAME
Location: In a northern danish city beating YOUR record.
Contact:

Post by Kopaka »

Jennifer Garner


sach asskicker is Alias <3
User avatar
8-ball
39mins club
Posts: 4496
Joined: 9 May 2003, 13:30
Team: MiE
Location: Riga, Latvia

Post by 8-ball »

Lois Griffin
39:37,91
teajay
Donator duck
Posts: 10043
Joined: 3 Apr 2003, 17:53

Post by teajay »

Uma Thurman
User avatar
Napoleon
Kuski
Posts: 1333
Joined: 10 Sep 2002, 18:26
Location: õ,õ

Post by Napoleon »

Dwight Schrute
User avatar
zworqy
Kuski
Posts: 3706
Joined: 19 May 2002, 23:17
Location: Lilla Edet, Sweden
Contact:

Post by zworqy »

LET'S GET READY TO RUMBLEEEEEE!!!!1111ONEONE

Round 1 - FIGHT!!!

Jackie Chan vs Jennifer Garner
Bruce Lee vs Pat Morita
Jean-Claude van Damme vs Tony Jaa
Sammo Hung vs Joe Eigo
Stephen Chow vs Uma Thurman
Jet Li vs Ralph Macchio
Shô Kosugi vs Chuck Norris
Steven Seagal vs Takeshi Kitano
Bolo Yeung vs Marc Dacascos

If you have the time, please feel free to write how each fight develops :D
<Fihlvein> another case of zworqy-is-always-right closed i guess
<yoosef> zworqy doesnt suck at anything
User avatar
danitah
Kuski
Posts: 818
Joined: 24 May 2004, 16:22
Contact:

Post by danitah »

everyone knows the fact that "Chuck Norris is so cool that he are guarenteed to win a competition if he participates" :o
User avatar
danitah
Kuski
Posts: 818
Joined: 24 May 2004, 16:22
Contact:

Post by danitah »

lets pretend the others have a chance and vote =)

Jackie Chan vs Jennifer Garner
Bruce Lee vs Pat Morita
Jean-Claude van Damme vs Tony Jaa
Sammo Hung vs Joe Eigo
Stephen Chow vs Uma Thurman
Jet Li vs Ralph Macchio
Shô Kosugi vs Chuck Norris
Steven Seagal vs Takeshi Kitano
Bolo Yeung vs Marc Dacascos
teajay
Donator duck
Posts: 10043
Joined: 3 Apr 2003, 17:53

Post by teajay »

Jackie Chan vs Jennifer Garner
Jackie Chan is in the middle of a scene of his newest movie, when suddenly the alias crew comes in to make use of the filmset. This results in an sudden fight between the two martial artists. Jackie Chan was already practising a new movie for the scene that involved his head as a wrecking ball and a concrete constructed bench. With the protection still on his head he knocks out Jennifer Garner in an instant.
Bruce Lee vs Pat Morita
Bruce Lee died earlier.
Jean-Claude van Damme vs Tony Jaa
Jean-Claude van Damme is sitting in front of his TV when the doorbell rings. Finally, his pizza is being delivered. To his surprise Tony Jaa is standing in the doorway. Without his pizza. 'Eat my shoe', comments Jean-Claude, and he makes his way to perform. Instead of giving a straight kick, he takes of his shoe to throw at Tony. Tony, a lot less numb in his mind evades this awkward attack by grabbing the head of Jean, who is leaning over, loosening his straps. Within 10 seconds Jean is lying on the floor, his shoe still around his feet.
Sammo Hung vs Joe Eigo
Sammo and Joe didn't feel like fighting today. Instead they played 3 sets of poker.
Stephen Chow vs Uma Thurman
This fight begins with a date. After the death of Bill, Uma needs some action. While dining with stephen at her favourite place, zworqy comes over informing her about this tournament on the internet, her matching against instead with Stephen, and the menu. She orders a spaghetti bolognese without bolognese. Stephen asks why she explicitly ordered without sauce. Uma replies with a fork thrust in facial direction, resulting Stephen's nose to spill blood all over her plate. Dinner's ready.
Jet Li vs Ralph Macchio
Jet Li meets Ralph Macchio at the local discount carwash shop. While walking up to Ralph to ask him for the price or a carwash, Ralph surprises Li with a mass sponge attack. Jet Li, struck by a dozen of sponges, falls to the ground, landing with his backside on a bonzai tree, impaling his spine aswell as damaging his costume. Ralph closes down his shop due to unsufficient demand.
Shô Kosugi vs Chuck Norris
Shô Kosugi died as a result of Chuck stirring a limb in a close range of 100 metres.
Steven Seagal vs Takeshi Kitano
Steven Seagal fails to hit Takeshi with his powerful hollywood attacks, although the soundtrack assures Steven that he's getting a full hit every try. Takeshi finishes it off quickly.
Bolo Yeung vs Marc Dacascos
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Image:Bolo.jpg
Harald Hasch
Kuski
Posts: 672
Joined: 30 Nov 2002, 16:57
Location: Candy Land

Post by Harald Hasch »

Jackie Chan vs Jennifer Garner
Bruce Lee vs Pat Morita
Jean-Claude van Damme vs Tony Jaa
Sammo Hung vs Joe Eigo
Stephen Chow vs Uma Thurman
Jet Li vs Ralph Macchio
Shô Kosugi vs Chuck Norris
Steven Seagal vs Takeshi Kitano
Bolo Yeung vs Marc Dacascos
User avatar
The_BoneLESS
38mins club
Posts: 4604
Joined: 7 Sep 2003, 00:30
Team: HHIT
Location: Dangerously close to the St-Lawrence River
Contact:

Post by The_BoneLESS »

Jackie Chan
Bruce Lee
Tony Jaa
Joe Eigo
Uma Thurman
Jet Li
Chuck Norris
Steven Seagal
Marc Dacascos
Website || TT:38:05:33 || WC5:15th || HHIT for life || 9th world wide ... BAP is next
User avatar
Kopaka
39mins club
Posts: 6610
Joined: 23 May 2002, 13:59
Team: LAME
Location: In a northern danish city beating YOUR record.
Contact:

Post by Kopaka »

Jackie Chan vs Jennifer Garner
They meet in a dark alley in Los Angeles. Jackie Chan starts the fight with a flying kick but Jennifer Garner dodge quickly and the fight last for a long time. They decide to take a break and Jennifer Garner offers Jackie Chan a smoke, as he reach out the grap it Jennifer Garner shots Jackie Chan in the heart with the cigarette case, as it was a Marschal creation with a hidden gun in it.

---

---

---

Stephen Chow vs Uma Thurman
Uma Thurman takes her samurai sword and takes the first flight to Hong Kong. As she walks into Stephen Chow's house he quickly attacks her with some kong fu moves but Uma Thurman is fast with her sword and cuts of both his arms and then his head.

---

Shô Kosugi vs Chuck Norris
Chuch Norris has gotten so occopied by all his internet idolization that he doesn't see Shô Kosugi sneaking up from behind and taking him down with a large knife.

Steven Seagal vs Takeshi Kitano
As they meet Steven Seagal mentions that he was a Saturday Night Live host in 1991 and Takeshi Kitano quickly resigns.

---
User avatar
8-ball
39mins club
Posts: 4496
Joined: 9 May 2003, 13:30
Team: MiE
Location: Riga, Latvia

Post by 8-ball »

where is Arnold?

btw
Chuck Norris


all others can talk to the hand
39:37,91
User avatar
zworqy
Kuski
Posts: 3706
Joined: 19 May 2002, 23:17
Location: Lilla Edet, Sweden
Contact:

Post by zworqy »

8-ball wrote:where is Arnold?
Arnold is king, but only with teh minigun :P
<Fihlvein> another case of zworqy-is-always-right closed i guess
<yoosef> zworqy doesnt suck at anything
User avatar
Xiphias
39mins club
Posts: 4098
Joined: 23 Nov 2004, 23:05

Post by Xiphias »

Jackie Chan vs Jennifer Garner
Bruce Lee vs Pat Morita
Jean-Claude van Damme vs Tony Jaa
Sammo Hung vs Joe Eigo
Stephen Chow vs Uma Thurman
Jet Li vs Ralph Macchio
Shô Kosugi vs Chuck Norris
Steven Seagal vs Takeshi Kitano
Bolo Yeung vs Marc Dacascos
Thorze wrote:I just wanted to make a cool topic like Juish have cool topics..
User avatar
Lee
37mins club
Posts: 2362
Joined: 22 Apr 2005, 05:12
Location: New Zealand

Post by Lee »

Jackie Chan vs Jennifer Garner
Bruce Lee vs Pat Morita
Jean-Claude van Damme vs Tony Jaa
Sammo Hung vs Joe Eigo
Stephen Chow vs Uma Thurman
Jet Li vs Ralph Macchio
Shô Kosugi vs Chuck Norris
Steven Seagal vs Takeshi Kitano
Bolo Yeung vs Marc Dacascos
User avatar
Napoleon
Kuski
Posts: 1333
Joined: 10 Sep 2002, 18:26
Location: õ,õ

Post by Napoleon »

Jet Li vs Ralph Macchio
Jalli
Pipe King
Posts: 758
Joined: 19 May 2002, 16:45
Location: Trondheim, Norway

Post by Jalli »

Chuck Norris
4th position in WC4 (DAMN YOU KARLIS!!!!) PWNED KARLIS IN WC5!!!!TT:39:2x:xx (you've got some playing to do Stini ;) ) When it's all over the question is not who was right. The question is who's left.
User avatar
Kopaka
39mins club
Posts: 6610
Joined: 23 May 2002, 13:59
Team: LAME
Location: In a northern danish city beating YOUR record.
Contact:

Post by Kopaka »

You are ruining the cup with your useless answers, plz :S
User avatar
zworqy
Kuski
Posts: 3706
Joined: 19 May 2002, 23:17
Location: Lilla Edet, Sweden
Contact:

Post by zworqy »

Jackie Chan vs Jennifer Garner
Bruce Lee vs Pat Morita
Jean-Claude van Damme vs Tony Jaa
Sammo Hung vs Joe Eigo
Stephen Chow vs Uma Thurman
Jet Li vs Ralph Macchio
Shô Kosugi vs Chuck Norris
Steven Seagal vs Takeshi Kitano
Bolo Yeung vs Marc Dacascos
<Fihlvein> another case of zworqy-is-always-right closed i guess
<yoosef> zworqy doesnt suck at anything
User avatar
zworqy
Kuski
Posts: 3706
Joined: 19 May 2002, 23:17
Location: Lilla Edet, Sweden
Contact:

Post by zworqy »

Round 1 results:

Jackie Chan vs Jennifer Garner 6-2
Bruce Lee vs Pat Morita 6-1
Jean-Claude van Damme vs Tony Jaa 3-3
Sammo Hung vs Joe Eigo 2-4
Stephen Chow vs Uma Thurman 3-4
Jet Li vs Ralph Macchio 6-2
Shô Kosugi vs Chuck Norris 3-6
Steven Seagal vs Takeshi Kitano 4-3
Bolo Yeung vs Marc Dacascos 3-3

The 7 winners goes to Round 2, but first...

Bonus Round - FIGHT!
Jean-Claude van Damme vs Tony Jaa vs Bolo Yeung vs Marc Dacascos
(pick ONE)
<Fihlvein> another case of zworqy-is-always-right closed i guess
<yoosef> zworqy doesnt suck at anything
User avatar
The_BoneLESS
38mins club
Posts: 4604
Joined: 7 Sep 2003, 00:30
Team: HHIT
Location: Dangerously close to the St-Lawrence River
Contact:

Post by The_BoneLESS »

Tony Jaa
Website || TT:38:05:33 || WC5:15th || HHIT for life || 9th world wide ... BAP is next
teajay
Donator duck
Posts: 10043
Joined: 3 Apr 2003, 17:53

Post by teajay »

Tony Jaa and Jean-Claude van Damme were contemplating about their previous fight, and Marc Dacascos was so incredibly hung over that he did not turn up at all, which leaves Bolo Yeung the last man standing (to contemplate, one must sit down).

Also, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Image:Bolo.jpg
Harald Hasch
Kuski
Posts: 672
Joined: 30 Nov 2002, 16:57
Location: Candy Land

Post by Harald Hasch »

bolo yeung
User avatar
Kopaka
39mins club
Posts: 6610
Joined: 23 May 2002, 13:59
Team: LAME
Location: In a northern danish city beating YOUR record.
Contact:

Post by Kopaka »

Time to move on?
Jazka
38mins club
Posts: 544
Joined: 24 Apr 2005, 10:39
Location: Himanka, Finland

Post by Jazka »

Tony Jaa
TT: 38.59.35 (20.)
Avg TT: 39.56.193 (12.)
User avatar
zworqy
Kuski
Posts: 3706
Joined: 19 May 2002, 23:17
Location: Lilla Edet, Sweden
Contact:

Post by zworqy »

Bolo Yeung

round 2 tonight, vote while you still can!
<Fihlvein> another case of zworqy-is-always-right closed i guess
<yoosef> zworqy doesnt suck at anything
User avatar
zworqy
Kuski
Posts: 3706
Joined: 19 May 2002, 23:17
Location: Lilla Edet, Sweden
Contact:

Post by zworqy »

Winner of bonus round: Bolo Yeung (0-2-3-0)

Round 2 - FIGHT!!!

Jackie Chan vs Bolo Yeung
Bruce Lee vs Steven Seagal
Joe Eigo vs Uma Thurman
Jet Li vs Chuck Norris
<Fihlvein> another case of zworqy-is-always-right closed i guess
<yoosef> zworqy doesnt suck at anything
User avatar
Napoleon
Kuski
Posts: 1333
Joined: 10 Sep 2002, 18:26
Location: õ,õ

Post by Napoleon »

Jet Li vs Chuck Norris
Harald Hasch
Kuski
Posts: 672
Joined: 30 Nov 2002, 16:57
Location: Candy Land

Post by Harald Hasch »

Round 2

Jackie Chan vs Bolo Yeung
Bruce Lee vs Steven Seagal
Joe Eigo vs Uma Thurman
Jet Li vs Chuck Norris
User avatar
Lee
37mins club
Posts: 2362
Joined: 22 Apr 2005, 05:12
Location: New Zealand

Post by Lee »

Jet Li vs Chuck Norris
User avatar
OtorK
37mins club
Posts: 569
Joined: 21 Jan 2005, 22:40
Location: CZE
Contact:

Post by OtorK »

Steven Seagal
i like Jet Li, but Chuck Norris is Chuck Norris
User avatar
A.K.B.
37mins club
Posts: 4122
Joined: 10 Dec 2005, 11:12
Location: Brisbane
Contact:

Post by A.K.B. »

this is shit now.

tony is gone.
Image
1 Golden Apple Award: Rookie of the Year
FinMan wrote:I prefer AKB:s topics to Xratios ones :)
epp
Kuski
Posts: 553
Joined: 19 Aug 2002, 16:54
Location: denmark

Post by epp »

Jackie Chan vs Bolo Yeung
Bruce Lee vs Steven Seagal
Joe Eigo vs Uma Thurman
Jet Li vs Chuck Norris
Image ^_^
Jazka
38mins club
Posts: 544
Joined: 24 Apr 2005, 10:39
Location: Himanka, Finland

Post by Jazka »

Jackie Chan vs Bolo Yeung
Bruce Lee vs Steven Seagal
Joe Eigo vs Uma Thurman
Jet Li vs Chuck Norris
TT: 38.59.35 (20.)
Avg TT: 39.56.193 (12.)
User avatar
The_BoneLESS
38mins club
Posts: 4604
Joined: 7 Sep 2003, 00:30
Team: HHIT
Location: Dangerously close to the St-Lawrence River
Contact:

Post by The_BoneLESS »

Jackie Chan
Bruce Lee
Uma Thurman
Chuck Norris
Website || TT:38:05:33 || WC5:15th || HHIT for life || 9th world wide ... BAP is next
teajay
Donator duck
Posts: 10043
Joined: 3 Apr 2003, 17:53

Post by teajay »

Jackie Chan vs Bolo Yeung
Instead of a freefight, this ends up being a food fight. Bolo meets Jackie at local mcdonald's where they stand in the same line. As soon as they have their fries they start to throw them at each other. Jackie hits Bolo with his cheeseburger, which has its disastrous effect. Bolo is out.
Bruce Lee vs Steven Seagal
This is an easy win for Bruce. Steven Seagal just broke a leg over his own ego so he can't fight.
Joe Eigo vs Uma Thurman
Uma's pissed. Joe Eigo invited her over at his house, but instead of inviting her in, he sneaked up to her at the front door with a sharp knife. But before he took his chance, Uma had her blade gone through his stomach a dozen times. She screwed up her suit though with all the blood and organs spilling over her trousers.
Jet Li vs Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris stretched his pinky in the direction of Jet Li's residence in such a manner, that the house immediatly collapsed. Jet Li, present at the time, wasn't able to comment later on.
Post Reply