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milagros · Post by **milagros** » 9 Mar 2010, 22:53

i think you need a good shag

teajay · Post by **teajay** » 9 Mar 2010, 23:11

milagros wrote:i think you need a good shag

probably

abruzzi · Post by **abruzzi** » 9 Mar 2010, 23:27

Well, being a virgin is in fact a state some people value a lot. If you're going to have a virgin girlfriend, and she tells you she had had some occasions before, but she was refusing to have sex, but she is now ready/willing to do it, then of course you might feel flattered in a way, wouldn't you? Same truth is implied in the opposite way, a loving girl usually feels more comfortable knowing that about her partner. Of course it gives her a subconscious (and conscious, too) feel that she's the only one, that he isn't thinking about another one during the sexual intercourse, and his loyalty is real.

No actually thinking, intelligent man would laugh at you, just because you are a virgin being 21. It's entirely your decision where to do it, with whom and finally when. Provided you are aware of your state. The worst thing is when you do feel ready to get rid of the 'V' letter, but you are too shy, too nerdy and too lazy or frightened to even try to change how the things look like. You might think at school, on Friday: Okay, I'll go out with friends today, I haven't been out for a while... Maybe I'll meet some girls, exchange some words in a small talk, or just take her telephone number, maybe a kiss on a dance floor... But then you come home and at 7pm your head is filled with the following thoughts: MAX LEV! NEW PIE PLZ! HEADSHOT! BEST0R FLASH GAME EVAR! FUCK, MISSED TEH SCAARING! YOUTUBE SHOULD CHANGE ITS LOGO :S ! That's why I hate some pricky igges, who mean completely nothing outside their room. Life is single, and time is not passing that slowly as you think. 20yo can be easily actually a half of the 'not-old' life.

I lost my virginity when I was exactly 16.5 yo and till now (20) I've fucked 6 different girls. Sex is such a pleasant activity, also relaxing you psychically and mentally for the next days, also her look in your eyes after her strong orgasm is priceless... But I'm also picky, when I find a girl that I want, I look also how she behaves, how many points of view we could share. On the other hand, it depends on how serious the relationship I'd like to be. Nevertheless, the very important thing is that once you get a girl, it's easier for you to move in the girls' world. You suddenly become more self-confident, your shyness melts down, you know what to do in certain situations. Hell, it's not a creature from another world. It's just the same human being as you, opposite sex only. Of course some people say my task is easier, because I'm half-African and as you probably know, girls like foreigners somehow.

However, it's thoroughally up to you what do you do in your life. But be aware that trying to cheat everyone that you're not a nerd, cheating yourself that you're just a temporary nerd, or a nerd on purpose isn't a good thing to do. Internet communities, flash games, watching youtube, laughing in irc etc. for sure won't make you more social. Computer is of course an indispensable thing of such a common use nowadays, but spending like 99% of your spare time in front of it is (n-word adjective). Use your life better, such behaviour is comparable to a suicide.

Also, you might bring back this topic, which is an extension of my way of thinking. I made a regard to the wave of high school massacres.

Tijs-joris, nice that you're somewhat back, make your points on some other topics, too. Btw I'd love to have a beer with once a day while talking and listening to you play the guitar:)

niN · Post by **niN** » 9 Mar 2010, 23:34

Nice post berh, the last bit somehow got to me.

Go tj! I was a virgin until I was 18 and I know the pressure you might feel (?). After I had sex it felt like a huge weight had been lifted off my shoulders, and since then I haven't felt any pressure anymore. Though the actual intercourse was not a very nice experience - It was with a girl I'd just met and I had no strong feelings towards her and it was in a car, limiting the act completely - I am so glad I did it to get rid of the pressure. I learnt that in the future I will only have sex with women I really like and have known for a while.

I don't think you're any less of a man obviously. And if you feel the pressure I felt then I think there's only one way to get rid of it. I could be wrong though.

Grace · Post by **Grace** » 10 Mar 2010, 09:01

I am still a virgin, and i don't care. We are brothers, tj.

FinMan · Post by **FinMan** » 10 Mar 2010, 10:44

lol at berh speaking about irl things

Lukazz · Post by **Lukazz** » 10 Mar 2010, 11:05

FinMan wrote:lol at berh speaking about irl things

Seriously, wtf. Of course hacking belma server is much more social than playing with other people. -_- Try and "rescue" some WoW-nerds instead, but pls leave us alone with your shitty advices.

Lousku · Post by **Lousku** » 10 Mar 2010, 11:11

abruzzi wrote:Internet communities -- for sure won't make you more social.

abruzzi wrote:such behaviour is comparable to a suicide.

Care to elaborate?

It's as if sexual intercouse were the ultimate goal everyone should set for their own life, and as if social interaction weren't social interaction without the direct interaction of bodies lacking technology.

Grace · Post by **Grace** » 10 Mar 2010, 11:32

Lukazz wrote:
FinMan wrote:lol at berh speaking about irl things
Seriously, wtf. Of course hacking belma server is much more social than playing with other people. -_- Try and "rescue" some WoW-nerds instead, but pls leave us alone with your shitty advices.

You show ignorance and insensitivity with your posting here. His advice is perfect.

Chris · Post by **Chris** » 10 Mar 2010, 14:59

Am I the only one who thinks that 1st sex with girl doesn't change your life? To change your life you need to make further step and have some real girlfriend. Personally I never managed to make that step. I'm not counting 1-2 months long episodes with girls. I've just been thinking about it and I realized that my life is as almost he same as it was before my 1st sex, beside the fact I'm not 17 anymore.

Grace · Post by **Grace** » 10 Mar 2010, 15:03

Chris wrote:Am I the only one who thinks that 1st sex with girl doesn't change your life? To change your life you need to make further step and have some real girlfriend. Personally I never managed to make that step. I'm not counting 1-2 months long episodes with girls. I've just been thinking about it and I realized that my life is as almost he same as it was before my 1st sex, beside the fact I'm not 17 anymore.

I have been at a stage with girls that i'm happy to settle down and be in a long-standing (2 years +) relationship, before i've gotten anywhere near sex. Maybe sex doesn't hold as much magnitude for bonding with a girl for you as it does for me.

Ecchi · Post by **Ecchi** » 10 Mar 2010, 17:04

I think I'm still the same after I lost my virginity sum 4 years ago, having random sex once in a while ain't bad, but tbh unless you got a girl you can do it with on a regular basis your right hand does the job just as well:P

Only change in myself I've seen after losing my virginity might only be my excessive pervism (though I was a perv before that anyway)

Kopaka · Post by **Kopaka** » 10 Mar 2010, 19:47

I am in same boat as tijsjoris and even a bit older.. It's definately not a lack of interest, but I'm generally a shy person and simply have no idea how to aproach girls. Very unsettling indeed and quite frustrating, I'm just totally lost on what to do about it.

Ecchi · Post by **Ecchi** » 10 Mar 2010, 19:53

Make a bet with your brother, worked for me xP
Or just find a girl who takes the initiative herself without waiting for signs from you.

Got a problem with shyness and lack of confidence myself which makes it close to impossible for me to make a move on someone, hence no girlfriend.:<

Though I'm darn easily dragged into them if we're alone and she makes a move

niN · Post by **niN** » 10 Mar 2010, 23:18

A handsome man like you kopaka? I would've thought you got tons of ladies

! And with your personallity you're basically a casanova!

I am going to give you the advise my friend gave me when I wanted to get rid of my virginity: dive right in! and lower your standards. A few weeks later I lost my virginity, and I personally believe I owe it all to him. I tried lowering my standards and not pushing away every girl I did not feel I wanted to keep for the rest of my life, and on the third girl I felt: why not.

teajay · Post by **teajay** » 11 Mar 2010, 00:24

nice pun; dive right in. I think that helps. Be sure to aim well.

Jokes aside, I see there's no real taboo on here. It's not really an issue as long as you don't make an issue out of it. Would it be an issue if I were 30? Hmmm..

Bismuth · Post by **Bismuth** » 11 Mar 2010, 00:33

Right now I'm making an issue about not interesting any girls. Not having sex is secondary to me, but I admit I can't stand being single anymore and always failing horribly when approaching a girl (I don't count anymore the number of times I've been told "I like you but I just hope you won't make up any ideas, we'll not be more than friends", must be somewhere around 12) is pretty frustrating. I turned 17 on February, so in that way, I also think it's not that bad, but I'm still having girls-related self-confidence troubles lately.

My brother says: "You first have to like yourself, you must not think of you as a crap. You must not view compliments as ridiculous, fake or even insulting. Once you realize that what you're doing is as good as what the others are doing, once you figure out how attractive and potentially interesting you actually are, you start noticing that you are actually attracting people. But first, you must learn to like yourself and this is the hardest part when you're convinced since high school that you deserve death."

(I'm quoting, but I was basically paraphrasing and translating; I would have copied the text if it wasn't in French, because what he said was very true and it concerned me a lot)

bob · Post by **bob** » 12 Mar 2010, 11:14

don't expect your first time to be a totally awesome experience.

you don't have any real idea of what the hell you are doing. it does take that pressure off though, which, for me, was a great feeling.

BUT you will still feel the pressure of performing well in the bed.

sex only really becomes great once you've had enough practice, and when it's someone you truly care about.

i remember being 16 and asking myself "wH3n ThE HeLL Am I G0iNG 2 GeT S3x?", and personally, i think the pressure would have been massive if i had to wait till 21+. it wouldn't have been something i openly talked about. but that is sad. sad that people would feel enormous pressure about something that can be overrated, especially the first encounter.

tj, good on you for openly admitting something that can be hard to admit. seriously though, try not to stress too much about it. the day will come. just because Gene Simmons rooted 50,000 girls doesn't make him more of a man than anyone else, and any decent woman would recognise that.

edit: also, my current (and my only serious one) girlfriend of over 2yrs lost her virginity at the age of 21 with me. i had been roughly "seeing" her (hooking up while out on the weekend) for about 1.5yrs before that, and it wasn't until 3 months into our official relationship that she lost her virginity.

she was absolutely terrified, but not anymore, which means we both very much enjoy it.

she is the 13th woman i have had sex with, but the only one i have had a relationship with and cared about.

gimp · Post by **gimp** » 13 Mar 2010, 11:00

it seems obvious, that tj who expected to get some bashing didnt get any, and thats because having to lose your virginity is a typical guy thing every guy can relate to. i think the whole losing your virginity thing is too hyped up personally, i remember when i lost it, yeah it was nice, but i also remember wishing that i wouldve done it with somebody else. it was like i somehow thought that all the other guys had some kind of edge over me, like they were winning in some competiton. after i did it i realized i was just another bafoon in the masses, no big deal. i think when you begin dating a new girl, and when you tell her you're still a virgin she will feel really special and also realize that you are a very special guy and it will probably be a very healthy relationship from there on out. definitely nothing to be ashamed of. i suppose there may be an age outside of your 20's though that you might just need to go to amsterdam and do some window shopping.

teajay · Post by **teajay** » 17 Mar 2010, 01:02

I am impressed by these thoughtful replies. Funny upbeat remark on your last line, gimp :p Though I've always had a very awkward feeling when going past these windows; not my cup of tea.

insane guy · Post by **insane guy** » 17 Mar 2010, 18:53

ultimate answer:

It all depends on the girl(s).

milagros · Post by **milagros** » 17 Mar 2010, 19:00

insane guy wrote:ultimate answer: It all depends on the girl(s).

max true
if a hot girl wants to fuck you, there is no chance you survive. Your gf/wife can be sleeping 3 meters from you (no, she can't hear that), still no chance
if a girl doesn't want you to fuck her, there is nothing you can do about it, you can make yourself a bit bigger idiot though

niN · Post by **niN** » 18 Mar 2010, 00:00

gimp, that's exactly how I felt.

8-ball · Post by **8-ball** » 20 Mar 2010, 12:02

i had sex with 3 different girls since i came to do voluntary work in holland 7 months ago.

PROTIP: alcohol

pawq · Post by **pawq** » 20 Mar 2010, 12:13

Xarthok wrote:PROTIP: alcohol

Polarix · Post by **Polarix** » 7 Apr 2010, 19:43

Kopaka wrote:I am in same boat as tijsjoris and even a bit older.. It's definately not a lack of interest, but I'm generally a shy person and simply have no idea how to aproach girls. Very unsettling indeed and quite frustrating, I'm just totally lost on what to do about it.

Yes, exactly how i have it too! It do not help me that im working on building an oil rig, where it is 99% males. So i never get the chance to aproach girls. Now it feels so far away, it has been like 4 years since ive EVEN talked to a girl, hahaha! I have giving all hope away, so i FAIL. haha yeah life can be such a bitch.

(Please help me!!)

ribot · Post by **ribot** » 7 Apr 2010, 23:25

i remember tj saying he had a girlfriend, so i thought this is definately a lie post. anyway, i give you my opinion about the matter.

mechanically having had sex doesn't really make much of a difference. there's a big hype about sex in society, especially from certain insecure guys that really blow up the matter. many ppl seem to think they are so cool talking about how much sex they had, and probably even lying about it. sensing your penis inside a vagina might or might not be as satisfactory as jerking off. it depends on the time or place, therefore it is not so much of a physical matter as a mental.

a lot of the hype i think is that you have to work for sex, and we guys are really lame at interpreting the signals the girls give us. thinking a lot about something that is difficult to get, or never had, can cause our minds to be agitated.

mentally there are some perspectives on sex. if you are really in tune with a woman and enjoy eachother fully is a complete different world. this can be done without sex, and without women too (now you are thinking of so funny jokes, but i really mean without sexual context). if you are especially inclined sexually it might be the thing for you sexually. maybe most of us would really boost at a great sexual experience though?

when i lost my virginity it didn't change my life in any special way. i learnt a bit about health issues, how the penis can get a bit sore getting used to a new fauna of bacteria. i did this and that with her and it wasn't that awesome. in fact i did it with her only to lose virginity, and i kinda regretted not feeling right about it. the next one was different, as i was on top of the world, and the girl practically attacked me into bed. it really boosted my self esteem and such, although the sex itself wasn't the main experience other than it happened.

after this babbling i have two points:
1. anyone can get laid, and you can get into the "game" if you want to. there are even forums about it, that teach you about how to lure women. i have tried it out a bit and it taught me a lot about women. i was quite upgiven about women for periods of my life, but really now i don't see it as a problem. nor is it a problem to find them, nor to be without them. women is a choise in life, whereas point number 2 is much more valuable and necessary in life.

2. To get in touch with your true nature, to do what you really want to do, and experience wonders coming from deeper mind itself and beyond is definately the greatest experience one can have in life! Anyone who thinks they have missed out by being a virgin, and not having felt spiritual bliss is severely lacking. The experience of bliss is fulfilling in every part of mind and body, and a lifestyle that keeps boosting and reaching new peaks of life experience! It's like upgrading to higher resolution of life in every possible aspect, specifically aspects of life you never thought about before. This path makes you strong for real, and not some annoying brat who can't do much more than insult others. It means you do in your life what you really want to, without being confused by how others try to influence you. It's never too late and every attempt of it is fulfilling beyond comprehension and expectation. Unless you have some aspect of this lifestyle your life will eventually become quite boring and annoying.

Life is there to live, and no one will live it for you. Do your best for a good life and you will have it, or be sceptic and suffer. Your choise.

trew · Post by **trew** » 8 Apr 2010, 10:22

Xarthok wrote:i had sex with 3 different girls since i came to do voluntary work in holland 7 months ago.

PROTIP: alcohol

losing virginity with alcohol gotta suck so bad...

Bludek · Post by **Bludek** » 8 Apr 2010, 16:44

Phlaim wrote:losing virginity with alcohol gotta suck so bad...

true story of mine :/

Crypt · Post by **Crypt** » 9 Apr 2010, 05:27

lolol your all virgins

Lousku · Post by **Lousku** » 4 Mar 2011, 23:33

Finally did teh. I've heard people (guys :p) say it's not great for the sex itself but for the mere fact that you're not a virgin anymore. Opposite for me, never took any pressure from being a virgin. But feels good. *smoke*

Bismuth · Post by **Bismuth** » 6 Mar 2011, 04:30

I banged a rus for my first time ))))

Kopaka · Post by **Kopaka** » 12 Mar 2011, 17:10

judging from some fb pics and lauta posts I have a feeling the original poster has accomplished it

analcactus · Post by **analcactus** » 13 Mar 2011, 14:51

Bismuth wrote:I banged a rus for my first time ))))

same here ;O

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