Do you have friends?

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Do you have friends?

Yes
16
80%
Yes, but only online
3
15%
Yes, but only in elma community
0
No votes
No, but at least I'm not bullied in elma community
0
No votes
No, and I'm bullied in elma community, but I have nowhere better to go
1
5%
 
Total votes: 20

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ribot
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Posts: 2377
Joined: 19 May 2002, 16:20
Location: Miranda: the true state
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Do you have friends?

Post by ribot » 30 Aug 2020, 08:36

Friendship is such a weird thing for me. I have so many thoughts about it, but nobody to share it with.

Anyway, as I have experienced some serious bullying in the community I thought it would be interesting to see if it's a problem.

Bonus question: what is a good friendship and how do establish that?

specter2
Beginner kuski
Posts: 2
Joined: 29 May 2020, 08:07

Re: Do you have friends?

Post by specter2 » 30 Aug 2020, 09:21

i have friends, but most of them have moved a bit far and have their own life so i never see them. the rest are quite self centered and take things for granted and imagine they can throw whatever bs at me and expect me to accept it, but actually i have had to put a stop to a couple of those so called friendships now. a good friendship would need work from both sides. so for now i have just one friend (apart from my work community) that i see a couple of times in a month, but that seems to be enough for me. i was also bullied and had only one friend in school after the 5th grade so it's like i'm returning back to that state. i would say in general grown-up people are maybe more polite than school kids, but many of them still don't value your friendship and time, so i say fuck people really

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ribot
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Posts: 2377
Joined: 19 May 2002, 16:20
Location: Miranda: the true state
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Re: Do you have friends?

Post by ribot » 30 Aug 2020, 09:31

I don't have any friends that I hang out with, nor irl or online. Mainly because nobody of my friends bothered to keep any kind of friendship alive (although I did that with quite some people before I stopped).

I play weekly football with some people who sometimes say 'hi' in a friendly way. I'm also self employed so when my work involves keeping in touch with people is pretty much the only hanging out I do. Also live with gf.

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kuchitsu
Kuski
Posts: 1385
Joined: 13 Aug 2010, 20:31

Re: Do you have friends?

Post by kuchitsu » 30 Aug 2020, 10:58

Voted for only online. I think my problem is that I demand too much from people and expect them to be very close to the ideal image of them that I have in my head. Hanging out with people IRL destroys that image very quickly and replaces it with a more realistic and less satisfying image of the real person, and then I don't want to be friends anymore. But if I only talk to someone online, especially if I don't even know how they look and sound, there are enough "gaps" left that I can fill with something pleasant by using my imagination.

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skint0r
39mins club
Posts: 754
Joined: 16 Jun 2002, 07:36
Location: Oslo, Norway

Re: Do you have friends?

Post by skint0r » 30 Aug 2020, 12:21

I have maybe 4 or so online friends that I am pretty close with, i.e. if I was feeling shit, or needed to talk about some more deeper things with someone, I know I could write them and also get a reply and some real care.

Then who knows exactly how many online "gaming" friends, like most in Elma scene. I wouldn't consider any of those super close friends, despite talking with many in #across for 20 years now? Maybe because there is often this builtin joke-buffer when talking there, even if some topics can get serious now and then, as well as here on lauta. But it feels more shallow maybe. I wouldn't ever contact any in private for anything crazy serious talk I think.

I have maybe a few co-worker friends from past job, but unless our paths meet randomly, I don't see them or would meet with them anymore or feel close to them.

I have 2 IRL friends I think. One I have not met with in almost 10 years now though, but still someone I know could talk with if needed to still. It's no longer a very close friendship, but it's still there. The only real friend I meet up with these days and could talk to about stuff is old co-worker. We don't hang out every week, but talk semi-daily online and meet up every now and then. Maybe if not for corona it would be more though.

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