1. Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar, and one says to the other, "i think ive lost an electron", and the other one replies, "are you sure". The first one then replies, "YES IM POSITIVE!"
2.What happened to the wooden car?
It wouldnt' go.
3. Whats faster than an abo?
His brother with a VCR
4.Whats long and black?
The unemployment line
5. Whats the difference between michael jackson and acne?
Acne waits till ur 13 to come all over your face.
6. How many emo's does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, they all sit in the dark and cry.
7. Whats the difference between a black man and a couch?
A couch can support a family.
8.two black guys and a mexican are in a car, whos driving?
The cops.
Humour of the Day
Moderator: Moporators
-
Ky.Jelly
- Flood to teh MAX
- Posts: 4009
- Joined: 20 May 2002, 21:40
- Location: Ramarama, Auckland, New Zealand
- Contact:
Two Scottish lads are chatting in the pub about the one bloke's wedding
which is just around the corner.
The one bloke says to the other, "I think I'm going to have to wear a
kilt for my wedding."
The other bloke says, "Oh, aye? What's the tartan?"
.
"Oh she'll be dressed in white."
which is just around the corner.
The one bloke says to the other, "I think I'm going to have to wear a
kilt for my wedding."
The other bloke says, "Oh, aye? What's the tartan?"
.
"Oh she'll be dressed in white."
[10:51:18] <skint0r> i could SACh see KyJelly working at ICA ;D
[10:51:37] <skint0r> "vad kostar denna?" "wtf ch0b0"
Thursday, March 2nd 2005, 0942 i was 3333 [4.43% of total / 3.25 posts per day]
[10:51:37] <skint0r> "vad kostar denna?" "wtf ch0b0"
Thursday, March 2nd 2005, 0942 i was 3333 [4.43% of total / 3.25 posts per day]
-
Ky.Jelly
- Flood to teh MAX
- Posts: 4009
- Joined: 20 May 2002, 21:40
- Location: Ramarama, Auckland, New Zealand
- Contact:
A Maori goes into a brothel in Amsterdam one night and finds himself a
prostitute.
He asks her, "How much do you charge for the hour?"
$100," she replies.
So he asks, "Okay do you do Maori style?"
She says "No!"
He then asks her, "I'll pay you $200 to do Maori style?"
She again says no, not knowing what Maori style is!
So he then offers her $300.
Again she declines his offer.
So finally he says, "I'll give you $500 to go Maori style with me"
Finally she agrees thinking, "Well I've been in the game for over 10
years now, I've been there and done that, had every kind of request from
weirdo's from every corner of the world. How bad could Maori style be?"
So she goes ahead and has sex with the bro, doing it in every kind of
way and in every possible position.
Finally, after 8 intense hours of the best nookie she'd ever
experienced, the Maori finishes.
Exhausted, the hooker turns to him and says, "That was wonderful. I've
never enjoyed it so much. But I was expecting something perverted and
crass. Where does the 'Maori style' come in?"
The Bro replies..............."I'll pay you tomorrow!"
prostitute.
He asks her, "How much do you charge for the hour?"
$100," she replies.
So he asks, "Okay do you do Maori style?"
She says "No!"
He then asks her, "I'll pay you $200 to do Maori style?"
She again says no, not knowing what Maori style is!
So he then offers her $300.
Again she declines his offer.
So finally he says, "I'll give you $500 to go Maori style with me"
Finally she agrees thinking, "Well I've been in the game for over 10
years now, I've been there and done that, had every kind of request from
weirdo's from every corner of the world. How bad could Maori style be?"
So she goes ahead and has sex with the bro, doing it in every kind of
way and in every possible position.
Finally, after 8 intense hours of the best nookie she'd ever
experienced, the Maori finishes.
Exhausted, the hooker turns to him and says, "That was wonderful. I've
never enjoyed it so much. But I was expecting something perverted and
crass. Where does the 'Maori style' come in?"
The Bro replies..............."I'll pay you tomorrow!"
[10:51:18] <skint0r> i could SACh see KyJelly working at ICA ;D
[10:51:37] <skint0r> "vad kostar denna?" "wtf ch0b0"
Thursday, March 2nd 2005, 0942 i was 3333 [4.43% of total / 3.25 posts per day]
[10:51:37] <skint0r> "vad kostar denna?" "wtf ch0b0"
Thursday, March 2nd 2005, 0942 i was 3333 [4.43% of total / 3.25 posts per day]
enjoy plz :p
-
Ky.Jelly
- Flood to teh MAX
- Posts: 4009
- Joined: 20 May 2002, 21:40
- Location: Ramarama, Auckland, New Zealand
- Contact:
After a woman gives birth to her baby, her doctor stood solemnly at her bedside.
"I have something I must tell you about your baby."
"What's wrong?" the alarmed mother asked.
"Your baby is a hermaphrodite."
"What's that?"
"It means your baby has both male and female parts."
"Oh my God that's wonderful!" the woman exclaimed "You mean he has a penis and a brain?"
"I have something I must tell you about your baby."
"What's wrong?" the alarmed mother asked.
"Your baby is a hermaphrodite."
"What's that?"
"It means your baby has both male and female parts."
"Oh my God that's wonderful!" the woman exclaimed "You mean he has a penis and a brain?"
[10:51:18] <skint0r> i could SACh see KyJelly working at ICA ;D
[10:51:37] <skint0r> "vad kostar denna?" "wtf ch0b0"
Thursday, March 2nd 2005, 0942 i was 3333 [4.43% of total / 3.25 posts per day]
[10:51:37] <skint0r> "vad kostar denna?" "wtf ch0b0"
Thursday, March 2nd 2005, 0942 i was 3333 [4.43% of total / 3.25 posts per day]
-
Ky.Jelly
- Flood to teh MAX
- Posts: 4009
- Joined: 20 May 2002, 21:40
- Location: Ramarama, Auckland, New Zealand
- Contact:
A blind man enters a lesbian bar by mistake. He finds his way to a bar
stool and orders a drink. After sitting there for a while, he yells to
the bartender in a loud voice, "Hey bartender, you wanna hear a dumb
blonde joke?" The bartender immediately falls deathly quiet. In a deep, husky
voice, the woman next to him says, "Before you tell that joke, sir, I
think it is just fair, given that you are blind, that you should know
five things: One: The bartender is a blonde woman. Two: The bouncer is a
blonde woman. Three: The woman sitting next to me is blonde and is a
professional boxer. Four: The lady to your right is a blonde and is a
professional wrestler Five: I'm a 6-foot, 200 pound blonde woman with a
Ph.D., a black belt in karate, and a very bad attitude!
Now, think about it seriously, mister. Do you still want to tell that
joke?" The blind man thinks for a second, shakes his head and says: "Nah.
not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times."
stool and orders a drink. After sitting there for a while, he yells to
the bartender in a loud voice, "Hey bartender, you wanna hear a dumb
blonde joke?" The bartender immediately falls deathly quiet. In a deep, husky
voice, the woman next to him says, "Before you tell that joke, sir, I
think it is just fair, given that you are blind, that you should know
five things: One: The bartender is a blonde woman. Two: The bouncer is a
blonde woman. Three: The woman sitting next to me is blonde and is a
professional boxer. Four: The lady to your right is a blonde and is a
professional wrestler Five: I'm a 6-foot, 200 pound blonde woman with a
Ph.D., a black belt in karate, and a very bad attitude!
Now, think about it seriously, mister. Do you still want to tell that
joke?" The blind man thinks for a second, shakes his head and says: "Nah.
not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times."
[10:51:18] <skint0r> i could SACh see KyJelly working at ICA ;D
[10:51:37] <skint0r> "vad kostar denna?" "wtf ch0b0"
Thursday, March 2nd 2005, 0942 i was 3333 [4.43% of total / 3.25 posts per day]
[10:51:37] <skint0r> "vad kostar denna?" "wtf ch0b0"
Thursday, March 2nd 2005, 0942 i was 3333 [4.43% of total / 3.25 posts per day]
-
Ky.Jelly
- Flood to teh MAX
- Posts: 4009
- Joined: 20 May 2002, 21:40
- Location: Ramarama, Auckland, New Zealand
- Contact:
A woman went to a K-Mart service counter and told the clerk she wanted a refund for the toaster she bought because it won't work. The clerk told her that he can't give her a refund because she bought it on special.
Suddenly, the woman threw her arms up in the air and started screaming,
"PINCH MY NIPPLES,
PINCH MY NIPPLES,
PINCH MY NIPPLES!!!!!!"
The befuddled clerk ran away to get the store manager
in front of a growing crowd of customers.
The manager comes to the woman and asks,"Ma'am what's wrong?"
She explained the problem with the toaster, and he also told her that
he can't give her a refund because she bought it on special.
Once again, the woman throws her arms up in the air and screamed,
"PINCH MY NIPPLES,
PINCH MY NIPPLES,
PINCH MY NIPPLES!!!"
and doing so draws an even bigger crowd!
In shock, the store manager pleads,
"Ma'am, why are you saying that?"
In a huff, the woman says,
"BECAUSE, I LIKE TO HAVE
MY NIPPLES PINCHED
WHEN I'M BEING SCREWED!!"
The crowd broke into applause and her money was quickly refunded!!
Suddenly, the woman threw her arms up in the air and started screaming,
"PINCH MY NIPPLES,
PINCH MY NIPPLES,
PINCH MY NIPPLES!!!!!!"
The befuddled clerk ran away to get the store manager
in front of a growing crowd of customers.
The manager comes to the woman and asks,"Ma'am what's wrong?"
She explained the problem with the toaster, and he also told her that
he can't give her a refund because she bought it on special.
Once again, the woman throws her arms up in the air and screamed,
"PINCH MY NIPPLES,
PINCH MY NIPPLES,
PINCH MY NIPPLES!!!"
and doing so draws an even bigger crowd!
In shock, the store manager pleads,
"Ma'am, why are you saying that?"
In a huff, the woman says,
"BECAUSE, I LIKE TO HAVE
MY NIPPLES PINCHED
WHEN I'M BEING SCREWED!!"
The crowd broke into applause and her money was quickly refunded!!
[10:51:18] <skint0r> i could SACh see KyJelly working at ICA ;D
[10:51:37] <skint0r> "vad kostar denna?" "wtf ch0b0"
Thursday, March 2nd 2005, 0942 i was 3333 [4.43% of total / 3.25 posts per day]
[10:51:37] <skint0r> "vad kostar denna?" "wtf ch0b0"
Thursday, March 2nd 2005, 0942 i was 3333 [4.43% of total / 3.25 posts per day]
-
Ky.Jelly
- Flood to teh MAX
- Posts: 4009
- Joined: 20 May 2002, 21:40
- Location: Ramarama, Auckland, New Zealand
- Contact:
jokes on me this time 
Last edited by Ky.Jelly on 26 Apr 2006, 21:31, edited 1 time in total.
[10:51:18] <skint0r> i could SACh see KyJelly working at ICA ;D
[10:51:37] <skint0r> "vad kostar denna?" "wtf ch0b0"
Thursday, March 2nd 2005, 0942 i was 3333 [4.43% of total / 3.25 posts per day]
[10:51:37] <skint0r> "vad kostar denna?" "wtf ch0b0"
Thursday, March 2nd 2005, 0942 i was 3333 [4.43% of total / 3.25 posts per day]
-
Ky.Jelly
- Flood to teh MAX
- Posts: 4009
- Joined: 20 May 2002, 21:40
- Location: Ramarama, Auckland, New Zealand
- Contact:
man i screwd up big time this time
Last edited by Ky.Jelly on 26 Apr 2006, 21:30, edited 1 time in total.
[10:51:18] <skint0r> i could SACh see KyJelly working at ICA ;D
[10:51:37] <skint0r> "vad kostar denna?" "wtf ch0b0"
Thursday, March 2nd 2005, 0942 i was 3333 [4.43% of total / 3.25 posts per day]
[10:51:37] <skint0r> "vad kostar denna?" "wtf ch0b0"
Thursday, March 2nd 2005, 0942 i was 3333 [4.43% of total / 3.25 posts per day]
-
Ky.Jelly
- Flood to teh MAX
- Posts: 4009
- Joined: 20 May 2002, 21:40
- Location: Ramarama, Auckland, New Zealand
- Contact:
damn repost
Last edited by Ky.Jelly on 26 Apr 2006, 21:29, edited 1 time in total.
[10:51:18] <skint0r> i could SACh see KyJelly working at ICA ;D
[10:51:37] <skint0r> "vad kostar denna?" "wtf ch0b0"
Thursday, March 2nd 2005, 0942 i was 3333 [4.43% of total / 3.25 posts per day]
[10:51:37] <skint0r> "vad kostar denna?" "wtf ch0b0"
Thursday, March 2nd 2005, 0942 i was 3333 [4.43% of total / 3.25 posts per day]
-
Ky.Jelly
- Flood to teh MAX
- Posts: 4009
- Joined: 20 May 2002, 21:40
- Location: Ramarama, Auckland, New Zealand
- Contact:
ouch
Last edited by Ky.Jelly on 26 Apr 2006, 21:29, edited 1 time in total.
[10:51:18] <skint0r> i could SACh see KyJelly working at ICA ;D
[10:51:37] <skint0r> "vad kostar denna?" "wtf ch0b0"
Thursday, March 2nd 2005, 0942 i was 3333 [4.43% of total / 3.25 posts per day]
[10:51:37] <skint0r> "vad kostar denna?" "wtf ch0b0"
Thursday, March 2nd 2005, 0942 i was 3333 [4.43% of total / 3.25 posts per day]
-
Ky.Jelly
- Flood to teh MAX
- Posts: 4009
- Joined: 20 May 2002, 21:40
- Location: Ramarama, Auckland, New Zealand
- Contact:
shit
Last edited by Ky.Jelly on 26 Apr 2006, 21:29, edited 1 time in total.
[10:51:18] <skint0r> i could SACh see KyJelly working at ICA ;D
[10:51:37] <skint0r> "vad kostar denna?" "wtf ch0b0"
Thursday, March 2nd 2005, 0942 i was 3333 [4.43% of total / 3.25 posts per day]
[10:51:37] <skint0r> "vad kostar denna?" "wtf ch0b0"
Thursday, March 2nd 2005, 0942 i was 3333 [4.43% of total / 3.25 posts per day]
"I was gonna be a baker, but i didnt have the doh"
"I was gonna be a doctor but i didnt have the patience"
"I was gonna be a cardiologist, but i didnt have the heart"
"I was gonna get you chicken but it was fowl"
just heard this in some tv show, thought they were funny as hell
at least in the series and manor they were said, maybe one should have seen the show heheh
"I was gonna be a doctor but i didnt have the patience"
"I was gonna be a cardiologist, but i didnt have the heart"
"I was gonna get you chicken but it was fowl"
just heard this in some tv show, thought they were funny as hell
at least in the series and manor they were said, maybe one should have seen the show heheh Proud Member Of RDK
The Circle
A blonde had just gotten a new sports car and was out for a drive when she accidentally cut off a large truck. The driver was outraged and was eventually able to make her pull over.
He got out of his truck and pulled a piece of chalk from his pocket. He drew a circle on the side of the road and gruffly commanded to the blonde in his most threatening voice, "Stand in that circle and DON'T MOVE!"
He then went to her car and cut up her leather seats. When he turned around she had a slight grin on her face, so he said, "Oh you think that's funny? Watch this!"
He gets a baseball bat out of his truck and breaks every window in her car. When he turns and looks at her she has a smile on her face.
Now he's getting really mad. He gets his knife back out and slices all her tires. Now she's laughing.
The truck driver is really starting to lose it. He goes back to his truck and gets an extra can of diesel fuel, pours it on her car and sets it on fire.
He turns around and she is laughing so hard she is about to fall down.
"What's so funny?" the truck driver asked the blonde.
She replied, "Every time you weren't looking, I stepped outside the circle!"
Found this joke from http://www.verkkouutiset.fi/ there at the bottom of the page "Viikon vitsit - Jokes", some max jokes there every now and then.
A blonde had just gotten a new sports car and was out for a drive when she accidentally cut off a large truck. The driver was outraged and was eventually able to make her pull over.
He got out of his truck and pulled a piece of chalk from his pocket. He drew a circle on the side of the road and gruffly commanded to the blonde in his most threatening voice, "Stand in that circle and DON'T MOVE!"
He then went to her car and cut up her leather seats. When he turned around she had a slight grin on her face, so he said, "Oh you think that's funny? Watch this!"
He gets a baseball bat out of his truck and breaks every window in her car. When he turns and looks at her she has a smile on her face.
Now he's getting really mad. He gets his knife back out and slices all her tires. Now she's laughing.
The truck driver is really starting to lose it. He goes back to his truck and gets an extra can of diesel fuel, pours it on her car and sets it on fire.
He turns around and she is laughing so hard she is about to fall down.
"What's so funny?" the truck driver asked the blonde.
She replied, "Every time you weren't looking, I stepped outside the circle!"
Found this joke from http://www.verkkouutiset.fi/ there at the bottom of the page "Viikon vitsit - Jokes", some max jokes there every now and then.
TT=37.56.09 /Average TT=39.05.16 / Höylä Mission TT: 11.14.13/ X-Double Trouble WR/
-
Ky.Jelly
- Flood to teh MAX
- Posts: 4009
- Joined: 20 May 2002, 21:40
- Location: Ramarama, Auckland, New Zealand
- Contact:
A hillbilly farmer who wants a divorce pays a visit to the lawyer.
The lawyer said, "How can I help you?"
The farmer said, "I want to get one of those day-vorces."
The lawyer said, "Do you have any grounds?"
The farmer said, "Yes, I got 40 acres."
The lawyer said, "No, you don't understand. I need to figure out if you have a suit?"
The farmer said, "Yes, I got a suit, I wears it to church on Sundays."
The lawyer said, "No, no, I mean, do you have a case?"
The farmer said, "No, I ain't got a Case, but I got a John Deere."
The lawyer said, "No, I mean, do you have a grudge?"
The farmer said, "Yes, I got a grudge, that's where I parks my John Deere."
The lawyer said, "Does your wife beat you up or something?"
The farmer said, "No, we both get up at 4:30AM."
The lawyer said, "Is your wife a nagger?"
The farmer said, "No, she's a little white gal, but our last child was a nagger and that's why I wants dayvorce
The lawyer said, "How can I help you?"
The farmer said, "I want to get one of those day-vorces."
The lawyer said, "Do you have any grounds?"
The farmer said, "Yes, I got 40 acres."
The lawyer said, "No, you don't understand. I need to figure out if you have a suit?"
The farmer said, "Yes, I got a suit, I wears it to church on Sundays."
The lawyer said, "No, no, I mean, do you have a case?"
The farmer said, "No, I ain't got a Case, but I got a John Deere."
The lawyer said, "No, I mean, do you have a grudge?"
The farmer said, "Yes, I got a grudge, that's where I parks my John Deere."
The lawyer said, "Does your wife beat you up or something?"
The farmer said, "No, we both get up at 4:30AM."
The lawyer said, "Is your wife a nagger?"
The farmer said, "No, she's a little white gal, but our last child was a nagger and that's why I wants dayvorce
[10:51:18] <skint0r> i could SACh see KyJelly working at ICA ;D
[10:51:37] <skint0r> "vad kostar denna?" "wtf ch0b0"
Thursday, March 2nd 2005, 0942 i was 3333 [4.43% of total / 3.25 posts per day]
[10:51:37] <skint0r> "vad kostar denna?" "wtf ch0b0"
Thursday, March 2nd 2005, 0942 i was 3333 [4.43% of total / 3.25 posts per day]
-
Ky.Jelly
- Flood to teh MAX
- Posts: 4009
- Joined: 20 May 2002, 21:40
- Location: Ramarama, Auckland, New Zealand
- Contact:
Two guys are pushing their shopping trolleys around a store when they
collide. The first guy says to the second guy, "Sorry about that. I'm
looking for my wife, and I guess I wasn't paying attention to where I
was going".
The second guy says, "That's OK. It's a coincidence. I'm looking for my
wife, too. I can't find her and I'm getting a little desperate". The
first guy says, "Well, maybe we can help each other. What does your
wife look like"? The second guy says, "Well, she is 27 yrs old, tall,
with blonde hair, blue eyes, big breasts and is wearing short shorts
and a tank top. What does your wife look like"?
The first guy says, "Doesn't matter --- let's look for yours."
collide. The first guy says to the second guy, "Sorry about that. I'm
looking for my wife, and I guess I wasn't paying attention to where I
was going".
The second guy says, "That's OK. It's a coincidence. I'm looking for my
wife, too. I can't find her and I'm getting a little desperate". The
first guy says, "Well, maybe we can help each other. What does your
wife look like"? The second guy says, "Well, she is 27 yrs old, tall,
with blonde hair, blue eyes, big breasts and is wearing short shorts
and a tank top. What does your wife look like"?
The first guy says, "Doesn't matter --- let's look for yours."
[10:51:18] <skint0r> i could SACh see KyJelly working at ICA ;D
[10:51:37] <skint0r> "vad kostar denna?" "wtf ch0b0"
Thursday, March 2nd 2005, 0942 i was 3333 [4.43% of total / 3.25 posts per day]
[10:51:37] <skint0r> "vad kostar denna?" "wtf ch0b0"
Thursday, March 2nd 2005, 0942 i was 3333 [4.43% of total / 3.25 posts per day]
-
Ky.Jelly
- Flood to teh MAX
- Posts: 4009
- Joined: 20 May 2002, 21:40
- Location: Ramarama, Auckland, New Zealand
- Contact:
Two sisters, a blonde and a brunette, inherit the family ranch. Unfortunately, after just a few years, they are in financial trouble. In order to keep the bank from repossessing the ranch, they need to purchase a bull so they can breed their own stock.
The brunette balances their checkbook, then decides to take their last $600 dollars out west to another ranch where a man has a prize bull for sale. Upon leaving, she tells her sister, "If I decide to buy the bull, I'll contact you to drive out after me and haul it home."
The brunette arrives at the man's ranch, inspects the bull, and decides she does want to buy it. The man tells her that he can sell it for $599, no less.
After paying him, she drives to the nearest town to send her sister a telegram.
She walks into the telegraph office, and says, "I want to send a telegram to my sister telling her that I've bought a bull for our ranch. I need her to hitch the trailer to our pick-up truck and drive out here so we can haul it home."
The telegraph operator explains that he'll be glad to help her, then adds, "It's just 99 cents a word."
Well, with only $1 left after paying for the bull, the brunette realizes that she'll only be able to send her sister one word. After thinking for a few minutes, she nods, and says, "I want you to send her the word, comfortable."
The telegraph operator shakes his head. "How is she ever going to know that you want her to hitch the trailer to your pick-up truck and drive out here to haul that bull back to your ranch if you just write, comfortable?"
The brunette explains, "My sister's a blonde. She'll read it slowly."
The brunette balances their checkbook, then decides to take their last $600 dollars out west to another ranch where a man has a prize bull for sale. Upon leaving, she tells her sister, "If I decide to buy the bull, I'll contact you to drive out after me and haul it home."
The brunette arrives at the man's ranch, inspects the bull, and decides she does want to buy it. The man tells her that he can sell it for $599, no less.
After paying him, she drives to the nearest town to send her sister a telegram.
She walks into the telegraph office, and says, "I want to send a telegram to my sister telling her that I've bought a bull for our ranch. I need her to hitch the trailer to our pick-up truck and drive out here so we can haul it home."
The telegraph operator explains that he'll be glad to help her, then adds, "It's just 99 cents a word."
Well, with only $1 left after paying for the bull, the brunette realizes that she'll only be able to send her sister one word. After thinking for a few minutes, she nods, and says, "I want you to send her the word, comfortable."
The telegraph operator shakes his head. "How is she ever going to know that you want her to hitch the trailer to your pick-up truck and drive out here to haul that bull back to your ranch if you just write, comfortable?"
The brunette explains, "My sister's a blonde. She'll read it slowly."
[10:51:18] <skint0r> i could SACh see KyJelly working at ICA ;D
[10:51:37] <skint0r> "vad kostar denna?" "wtf ch0b0"
Thursday, March 2nd 2005, 0942 i was 3333 [4.43% of total / 3.25 posts per day]
[10:51:37] <skint0r> "vad kostar denna?" "wtf ch0b0"
Thursday, March 2nd 2005, 0942 i was 3333 [4.43% of total / 3.25 posts per day]
com - for - teh - bullA.K.B. wrote:I don't get it.
took me about a minute to understand tho
TT: 43:03.93 | AVG: 47:03.65 | 
| Team Site [TR] || TR Forum | 1 Pro, 27 Good, 26 OK
| Team Site [TR] || TR Forum | 1 Pro, 27 Good, 26 OK
What is red and white and screams?
- A peeled baby in salt.
What is Pink... Brown... Black... and goes ''ding!''?
- A baby in a microwave.
What has four legs and one arm.
- A pitbull in a daycare center.
How do you make a dead baby float?
- By taking your feet off its head.
What is red and hits then window screaming?
- A baby in a microwave.
What is yellow, turns then becomes red?
- A chinese baby in a blender.
Why do we always put baby's feet first?
- To see the expression on his face.
How do you take a baby out of a blender?
- With a straw.
Mom... mom... I don't want to sleep with my little brother anymore .
- Shut up. You know very well that we don't have enough money to bury him.
How to stop a baby turning around?
- You nail his other foot.
- A peeled baby in salt.
What is Pink... Brown... Black... and goes ''ding!''?
- A baby in a microwave.
What has four legs and one arm.
- A pitbull in a daycare center.
How do you make a dead baby float?
- By taking your feet off its head.
What is red and hits then window screaming?
- A baby in a microwave.
What is yellow, turns then becomes red?
- A chinese baby in a blender.
Why do we always put baby's feet first?
- To see the expression on his face.
How do you take a baby out of a blender?
- With a straw.
Mom... mom... I don't want to sleep with my little brother anymore .
- Shut up. You know very well that we don't have enough money to bury him.
How to stop a baby turning around?
- You nail his other foot.
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The_BoneLESS
- 38mins club
- Posts: 4604
- Joined: 7 Sep 2003, 00:30
- Team: HHIT
- Location: Dangerously close to the St-Lawrence River
- Contact:
xiph... would you be a bit racist here ?
Website || TT:38:05:33 || WC5:15th || HHIT for life || 9th world wide ... BAP is next
i like racism
Q: how do you get a nigger down from a tree?
A: cut the robe
Q: what to do after you licked a clean smooth pussy?
A: put back on the diper
Q: what does a nigger and a bicyckle have in common?
A: both needs a chain to work
Q: why cant niggerkids play in the with sand?
A: the cat will come and cover them up
Q: how to put out a nigger lady from a firè?
A: piss in her mustage
hope you enjoy
Q: how do you get a nigger down from a tree?
A: cut the robe
Q: what to do after you licked a clean smooth pussy?
A: put back on the diper
Q: what does a nigger and a bicyckle have in common?
A: both needs a chain to work
Q: why cant niggerkids play in the with sand?
A: the cat will come and cover them up
Q: how to put out a nigger lady from a firè?
A: piss in her mustage
hope you enjoy
Q: What do you call a nigger with a green afro?
A: A tree
Q: What do you call a nigger with white hair?
A: Top Deck
Q: What do you call a nigger with dandruff?
A: Lamington
Q: What do you call a bunch of niggers swimming in a lake?
A: Coco Pops
Q: What do you say when you see a floating TV?
A: "Drop it nigga!"
Q: Why do niggers always have sex on their minds?
A: Because they have pubes on their heads!
Q: Why do niggers have black hands?
A: It rubs off the cop cars
Q: Why do more niggers get hit by cars in the winter?
A: They're easier to spot!
Q: What do you call Paris standing next to a Hotel?
A: Two Hiltons open 24/7
Q: Why do people say they'd root my mum when she's liek 49 years ald?
A: A tree
Q: What do you call a nigger with white hair?
A: Top Deck
Q: What do you call a nigger with dandruff?
A: Lamington
Q: What do you call a bunch of niggers swimming in a lake?
A: Coco Pops
Q: What do you say when you see a floating TV?
A: "Drop it nigga!"
Q: Why do niggers always have sex on their minds?
A: Because they have pubes on their heads!
Q: Why do niggers have black hands?
A: It rubs off the cop cars
Q: Why do more niggers get hit by cars in the winter?
A: They're easier to spot!
Q: What do you call Paris standing next to a Hotel?
A: Two Hiltons open 24/7
Q: Why do people say they'd root my mum when she's liek 49 years ald?
1 Golden Apple Award: Rookie of the Year
FinMan wrote:I prefer AKB:s topics to Xratios ones
-
Ky.Jelly
- Flood to teh MAX
- Posts: 4009
- Joined: 20 May 2002, 21:40
- Location: Ramarama, Auckland, New Zealand
- Contact:
Two gay men decide to have a baby. They mix their sperm together and have a surrogate mother artificially inseminated with it. When the baby is born, they rush to the hospital. A dozen babies are in the ward, eleven of whom are crying and screaming. Over in the corner, one baby is smiling serenely. A nurse comes by, and to the delight of the gay fathers, she points out the happy child as theirs. "Isn't it wonderful?" one gay says to the other. "All these unhappy babies... and yet our baby is so happy. This just proves the superiority of gay love!" The nurse says, "Oh sure, he's happy now, but just watch what happens when I pull the thermometer out of his arse!"
[10:51:18] <skint0r> i could SACh see KyJelly working at ICA ;D
[10:51:37] <skint0r> "vad kostar denna?" "wtf ch0b0"
Thursday, March 2nd 2005, 0942 i was 3333 [4.43% of total / 3.25 posts per day]
[10:51:37] <skint0r> "vad kostar denna?" "wtf ch0b0"
Thursday, March 2nd 2005, 0942 i was 3333 [4.43% of total / 3.25 posts per day]
-
Ky.Jelly
- Flood to teh MAX
- Posts: 4009
- Joined: 20 May 2002, 21:40
- Location: Ramarama, Auckland, New Zealand
- Contact:
No matter which girls he brought home, the young man found disapproval from his mother. A friend gave him advice. "Find a girl just like your mother - then, she's bound to like her!" So the young man searched and searched, and finally found the girl. He told his friendly adviser: "Just like you said, I found a girl who looked, talked, dressed, and even cooked like my mother; and just as you said, my mother liked her". "So," asked the friend, "what happened?" "Nothing," said the young man. "My dad hates her."
[10:51:18] <skint0r> i could SACh see KyJelly working at ICA ;D
[10:51:37] <skint0r> "vad kostar denna?" "wtf ch0b0"
Thursday, March 2nd 2005, 0942 i was 3333 [4.43% of total / 3.25 posts per day]
[10:51:37] <skint0r> "vad kostar denna?" "wtf ch0b0"
Thursday, March 2nd 2005, 0942 i was 3333 [4.43% of total / 3.25 posts per day]
-
Ky.Jelly
- Flood to teh MAX
- Posts: 4009
- Joined: 20 May 2002, 21:40
- Location: Ramarama, Auckland, New Zealand
- Contact:
Hillary Clinton and her driver were cruising along a country road one evening when an ancient cow loomed in front of the car. The driver tried to avoid it but couldn't - the aged bovine was struck and killed.
Hillary told her driver to go up to the farmhouse and explain to the owners what had happened. She stayed in the car making phone calls to lobbyists.
About an hour later the driver staggered back to the car with his clothes in disarray. He was holding a half-empty bottle of expensive wine in one hand, a huge Cuban cigar in the other, and was smiling happily, smeared with lipstick.
"What happened to you?" asked Hillary. "Well," the driver replied, "the farmer gave me the cigar, his wife gave me the wine, and their beautiful twin daughters made mad passionate love to me." "My God, what did you tell them?" asked Hillary. The driver replied, "I just stepped inside the door and said, I'm Hillary Clinton's driver and I've just killed the old cow.
The rest happened so fast I couldn't stop it."
Hillary told her driver to go up to the farmhouse and explain to the owners what had happened. She stayed in the car making phone calls to lobbyists.
About an hour later the driver staggered back to the car with his clothes in disarray. He was holding a half-empty bottle of expensive wine in one hand, a huge Cuban cigar in the other, and was smiling happily, smeared with lipstick.
"What happened to you?" asked Hillary. "Well," the driver replied, "the farmer gave me the cigar, his wife gave me the wine, and their beautiful twin daughters made mad passionate love to me." "My God, what did you tell them?" asked Hillary. The driver replied, "I just stepped inside the door and said, I'm Hillary Clinton's driver and I've just killed the old cow.
The rest happened so fast I couldn't stop it."
[10:51:18] <skint0r> i could SACh see KyJelly working at ICA ;D
[10:51:37] <skint0r> "vad kostar denna?" "wtf ch0b0"
Thursday, March 2nd 2005, 0942 i was 3333 [4.43% of total / 3.25 posts per day]
[10:51:37] <skint0r> "vad kostar denna?" "wtf ch0b0"
Thursday, March 2nd 2005, 0942 i was 3333 [4.43% of total / 3.25 posts per day]
Haha :D Made my day, or atleast my morning or wateh time.
John: lol hittade ett popcorn i naveln
(19:52:06) (@Madnezz) The Golden Apple Award goes to.....
(19:52:36) (@Madnezz) ib9814.lev by igge!!!
(19:52:06) (@Madnezz) The Golden Apple Award goes to.....
(19:52:36) (@Madnezz) ib9814.lev by igge!!!
Zweq wrote:99.9999% of nabs haven't even opened the book yet and most of those that have are still on the first pages
-
Ky.Jelly
- Flood to teh MAX
- Posts: 4009
- Joined: 20 May 2002, 21:40
- Location: Ramarama, Auckland, New Zealand
- Contact:
A woman walked into the kitchen to find her husband stalking around with a fly swatter "What are you doing?" She asked. "Hunting Flies" He responded. "Oh! Killing any?" She asked. "Yep, 3 males, 2 Females," he replied. Intrigued, she asked. "How can you tell them apart?" He responded, "3 were on a beer can, 2 were on the phone."
[10:51:18] <skint0r> i could SACh see KyJelly working at ICA ;D
[10:51:37] <skint0r> "vad kostar denna?" "wtf ch0b0"
Thursday, March 2nd 2005, 0942 i was 3333 [4.43% of total / 3.25 posts per day]
[10:51:37] <skint0r> "vad kostar denna?" "wtf ch0b0"
Thursday, March 2nd 2005, 0942 i was 3333 [4.43% of total / 3.25 posts per day]
-
Ky.Jelly
- Flood to teh MAX
- Posts: 4009
- Joined: 20 May 2002, 21:40
- Location: Ramarama, Auckland, New Zealand
- Contact:
pretty sure ive posted this one before, but its still funny as fuck
The seven dwarfs go to the Vatican, and because they are the seven dwarfs, they are immediately ushered in to see the Pope. Grumpy leads the pack.
"Grumpy, my son," says the Pope, "What can I do for you?" Grumpy asks, "Excuse me your Excellency, but are there any dwarf nuns in Rome?" The Pope wrinkles his brow at the odd question, thinks for a moment and answers, "No, Grumpy, there are no dwarf nuns in Rome."
In the background, a few of the dwarfs start giggling. Grumpy turns around and glares, silencing them.
Grumpy turns back, "Your Worship, are there any dwarf nuns in all of Europe?" The Pope, puzzled now, again thinks for a moment and then answers, "No, Grumpy, there are no dwarf nuns in Europe."
This time, all of the other dwarfs burst into laughter. Once again, Grumpy turns around and silences them with an angry glare.
Grumpy turns back and says, "Mr. Pope, are there ANY dwarf nuns anywhere in the world?" The Pope, really confused by the questions says, "I'm sorry, my son, there are no dwarf nuns anywhere in the world."
The other dwarfs collapse into a heap, rolling and laughing, pounding the floor, tears rolling down their cheeks, as they begin chanting.... " Grumpy shagged a penguin! Grumpy shagged a penguin! Grumpy shagged a penguin!"
The seven dwarfs go to the Vatican, and because they are the seven dwarfs, they are immediately ushered in to see the Pope. Grumpy leads the pack.
"Grumpy, my son," says the Pope, "What can I do for you?" Grumpy asks, "Excuse me your Excellency, but are there any dwarf nuns in Rome?" The Pope wrinkles his brow at the odd question, thinks for a moment and answers, "No, Grumpy, there are no dwarf nuns in Rome."
In the background, a few of the dwarfs start giggling. Grumpy turns around and glares, silencing them.
Grumpy turns back, "Your Worship, are there any dwarf nuns in all of Europe?" The Pope, puzzled now, again thinks for a moment and then answers, "No, Grumpy, there are no dwarf nuns in Europe."
This time, all of the other dwarfs burst into laughter. Once again, Grumpy turns around and silences them with an angry glare.
Grumpy turns back and says, "Mr. Pope, are there ANY dwarf nuns anywhere in the world?" The Pope, really confused by the questions says, "I'm sorry, my son, there are no dwarf nuns anywhere in the world."
The other dwarfs collapse into a heap, rolling and laughing, pounding the floor, tears rolling down their cheeks, as they begin chanting.... " Grumpy shagged a penguin! Grumpy shagged a penguin! Grumpy shagged a penguin!"
[10:51:18] <skint0r> i could SACh see KyJelly working at ICA ;D
[10:51:37] <skint0r> "vad kostar denna?" "wtf ch0b0"
Thursday, March 2nd 2005, 0942 i was 3333 [4.43% of total / 3.25 posts per day]
[10:51:37] <skint0r> "vad kostar denna?" "wtf ch0b0"
Thursday, March 2nd 2005, 0942 i was 3333 [4.43% of total / 3.25 posts per day]
