Do you want to win World Cup 8?

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jaytea
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Do you want to win World Cup 8?

Post by jaytea »

You.

Yes, you.

What if I told you that you could be the eventual World champion of Elma? That certainly has a nice ring to it, doesn't it?

I am looking to offer my services as an Expert Style Consultant. How it works is: I give you the styles, and you drive them. It's that simple. And all I ask in return is the meager sum of USD 9,999 per replay. This figure is slightly negotiable and I do offer package discounts.

Look, you know me. You've seen my (literal) track record; the countless spectacular moves, styles, and routes my extraordinary brain has birthed into existence over the years. But in case you haven't, here is a selection of contemporary fmw replays that showcase my unbelievable talent:

http://recs.zamppe.com/replays/2782/show?fmw007jt1993
http://recs.zamppe.com/replays/2783/show?fmw2018jt1784
http://recs.zamppe.com/replays/2784/show?fmw2022jt1690
http://recs.zamppe.com/replays/2785/show?fmw2023jt4188
http://recs.zamppe.com/replays/2786/show?fmw2026jt3099
http://recs.zamppe.com/replays/2787/show?fmw2030jt2697
http://recs.zamppe.com/replays/2788/show?fmw2031jt3274

My name will go down in history, of this there is little doubt. But yours could be right there beside it.

Let me be the Tesla to your Edison.. the Wozniak to your Jobs.. let me take you right there to the top.

All my love,
JT
im pretty good at elma
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kuchitsu
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Re: Do you want to win World Cup 8?

Post by kuchitsu »

And what happens if you give a style that turns out to be slow?
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ArZeNiK
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Re: Do you want to win World Cup 8?

Post by ArZeNiK »

kuchitsu wrote: 3 Aug 2020, 13:44 And what happens if you give a style that turns out to be slow?
did you seriously just ask that to jaytea
hi im arzenik :>
elmzuke.lev is the greatest piece of art ever created
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Xiphias
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Re: Do you want to win World Cup 8?

Post by Xiphias »

kuchitsu wrote: 3 Aug 2020, 13:44 And what happens if you give a style that turns out to be slow?
Full refund (minus inconvenience fee of USD500)
Thorze wrote:I just wanted to make a cool topic like Juish have cool topics..
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milagros
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Re: Do you want to win World Cup 8?

Post by milagros »

it's kinda cheap
maybe you should win teh wcup and get all the prizes instead
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kuchitsu
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Re: Do you want to win World Cup 8?

Post by kuchitsu »

Is this an exclusive kind of deal or will you give the same recs to anyone who's willing to pay?
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jaytea
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Re: Do you want to win World Cup 8?

Post by jaytea »

kuchitsu wrote: 3 Aug 2020, 20:49 Is this an exclusive kind of deal or will you give the same recs to anyone who's willing to pay?
Anyone who pays will get a style that is simultaneously unique, and also the fastest possible style for the level in question.

... don't overthink it.
im pretty good at elma
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tej
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Re: Do you want to win World Cup 8?

Post by tej »

sounds really cool but how much for you to drive for me as well?
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milagros
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Re: Do you want to win World Cup 8?

Post by milagros »

yeah, don't overthink it, because you might figure out it's bullshit
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Ruben
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Re: Do you want to win World Cup 8?

Post by Ruben »

What if I don't want to win World Cup 8?
<veezay> antti also gonna get stabbed later this month
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jaytea
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Re: Do you want to win World Cup 8?

Post by jaytea »

Ruben wrote: 5 Aug 2020, 14:33 What if I don't want to win World Cup 8?
Then you can buy my styles and gift them to your opponents.
im pretty good at elma
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